[Meanwhile the actual vampire is standing here in shorts and sneakers.]

Not sure you'll be able to afford to not buy into the conceit, anyways. I mean... this place is kinda lacking on some things? Which just makes the equipment situation even more unfortunate.

[She would clap him on the shoulder like they're besties, but she's too far away for that, luckily for ol' Barry Z.]

Also, even if your... iron-heeled Wellingtons are sturdy, are riding boots all that comfortable for hard labor? Plus you'd probably want iron toes if you're gonna be dealing with cows...

[Maybe?? She wouldn't know. She didn't join the FFA in high school.]