( if she were eating, she would've choked on her food. whoops! but it shouldn't be that much of a big deal to talk about, right? it is why they're here after all. )
I, um ... well, no, I haven't. ( at this current place in time she's only been here ... what, maybe a week at best? she understands the intentions of the Goddess and the purpose she was brought here for, but Amber thinks that the Goddess could've chosen a more fitting woman. )
I don't really know why I'm here, to be honest with you. I was so high-energy when I was younger I'd hear things like, "you'll never be wife material!" and "boys won't like girls who run around like that!" ... Which is silly but, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change myself. How can the Goddess expect someone to fall in love with someone like me? Of course boys never really appeared on my radar either, because I was so focused on becoming an Outrider just like my Grandpa. And then when I took over his platoon entirely, that left me with no time to do anything apart from work.
( she idly combs some of her fingers through her long brown hair. ) I guess there were a few boys in the Knights who showed interest in me, but ... ( she sighs. ) I felt used. So, I gave up.
But now I'm here and expecting to get married to someone in a matter of months? It's a lot to take in. I-I mean, I've always wanted to find love, have a family again ... but that just felt like something to pursue later. Not while I was so busy being an Outrider ... there was no time.
( oh! she's certainly waffled on here, hasn't she? )
Sorry, Master Diluc! I don't know why I went off on a tangent there. I guess, for the first time in my life, I've been able to really sit down and think about love and courtship. I still carry those feelings that I'm not attractive the way that a "proper woman should be" ... I guess they're a lot stronger than I thought. If I'm lucky enough to ever find love, then ... I'd be happy for that. ( she sighs. ) Maybe after a miracle.
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( if she were eating, she would've choked on her food. whoops! but it shouldn't be that much of a big deal to talk about, right? it is why they're here after all. )
I, um ... well, no, I haven't. ( at this current place in time she's only been here ... what, maybe a week at best? she understands the intentions of the Goddess and the purpose she was brought here for, but Amber thinks that the Goddess could've chosen a more fitting woman. )
I don't really know why I'm here, to be honest with you. I was so high-energy when I was younger I'd hear things like, "you'll never be wife material!" and "boys won't like girls who run around like that!" ... Which is silly but, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change myself. How can the Goddess expect someone to fall in love with someone like me? Of course boys never really appeared on my radar either, because I was so focused on becoming an Outrider just like my Grandpa. And then when I took over his platoon entirely, that left me with no time to do anything apart from work.
( she idly combs some of her fingers through her long brown hair. ) I guess there were a few boys in the Knights who showed interest in me, but ... ( she sighs. ) I felt used. So, I gave up.
But now I'm here and expecting to get married to someone in a matter of months? It's a lot to take in. I-I mean, I've always wanted to find love, have a family again ... but that just felt like something to pursue later. Not while I was so busy being an Outrider ... there was no time.
( oh! she's certainly waffled on here, hasn't she? )
Sorry, Master Diluc! I don't know why I went off on a tangent there. I guess, for the first time in my life, I've been able to really sit down and think about love and courtship. I still carry those feelings that I'm not attractive the way that a "proper woman should be" ... I guess they're a lot stronger than I thought. If I'm lucky enough to ever find love, then ... I'd be happy for that. ( she sighs. ) Maybe after a miracle.