🍁🎑🦋 Bug Eater Farm: Autumn Catch-all 🦋🎑🍁

[pactmarshal]

🍂 WHO: Kaspar and/or Trahearne, and you!
🍂 WHAT: Joint catch-all for two good tall boys
🍂 WHEN: Throughout autumn
🍂 WHERE: Here, there, everywhere
🍂 WARNINGS: To be added in headers!

[ details and toplevels in comments below ]

Comments

[bluminescence]

I'm sorry, Tra.

[ Kaspar whispers, slowly reaching for him when he looks over. It is an attempt to pull him gently into another hug, to let their worried foreheads rest together while cradled by the back of the couch. Grounding, platonic, but no less deep as Kaspar searches for the words and trusts Trahearne to be patient with him even in his guilt. ]

... that was no mood for him to hear your explanation, was it?

[pactmarshal]

[ Trahearne shakes his head at first--not to deny the pull of the hug, that he falls into quite easily--but to tell Kaspar he has no reason to apologize. He lets the couch catch him, and his eyes fall shut as their foreheads touch, letting the echo of disappointment from yesterday well in his chest again. ]

It was not, no. I...suppose I will have to explain myself once he's cooled off.

[ And he'll give him some space in the meanwhile.

After a beat, his eyes open and settle on Kaspar's. They're conflicted. ]

In hindsight, I realise it was not a good idea, but...I was going to ask him out on a date myself, too.

[ Would he say yes now? After all that? ]

[bluminescence]

[ Kaspar agrees it is a good idea to let Syr cool off, communicated only by his quiet hum as Trahearne goes on. His eyes remain on the other's, soft and understanding.

But part of him can understand.
He'd be angry himself, if inadvertently sent on a date with someone he cares little for. ]

... will you, apologize first?

[pactmarshal]

Of course.

[ The answer comes readily. He recognizes that this is the first thing he needs to do.

His eyes drop. ]

...Of course. I would be a fool not to.

[ For a moment, he thinks of something else to say, but can't think of anything. He's still tired, still upset, still worn. He gives up; his posture sags into the couch, and his eyes close again.

He just lets all of the negativity and the upset wash over him, and he steeps in his feelings. It isn't really as though he knows what to do with all of this, but he feels comfortable enough around Kaspar to show it. ]

[bluminescence]

[ Kaspar's posture is already there, accepting Trahearne as he is and as he feels. The negative and the positive, Kaspar holds no judgment in his warm and undemanding embrace.

It takes time, quiet breaths and grey eyes still taking him in, the situation, his knowledge of them, the Pact, their history together. The culmination of it all breaks the silence-- ]

... I believe, you have been through too much together for him not to accept it.

[ But he goes on, quieter and drifting off with his gaze. ]

You both, care too deeply for one another to be broken by something like this.

[pactmarshal]

[ Kaspar, too, is observant in his own way. He's seen the way Trahearne speaks of Syrlya, he's seen the way they interact. He knows this about them, and Trahearne trusts him to speak his mind.

That his assessment is positive brings him relief. Though he doesn't voice it, it's palpable from the way his tension eases. ]

I would like to think so, too.

[ His voice cracks a little--not from tears, but from exhaustion. The shock is a little raw, still. Maybe he's overreacting. It's hard to tell. ]

Your faith means a lot to me, Kaspar.

[bluminescence]

[ Kaspar goes quiet again. The peaceful kind that has him pocketing the figure blindly to reach up and gently adjust Trahearne's leaves affectionately. He doesn't know what to say to that. Appreciation swells from a love that is nebulous and hard to label. It fills his chest with warmth. The solid kind that doesn't flutter or make his heart race. He can't articulate it. Perhaps the love he'd always sought from any of his brothers.

Eventually, snuggled close, Kaspar whispers calmly. There is no worry on his phrasing, trusting his friend to understand what he means again. ]

... I will always have faith in you. Your happiness matters to me.

[ Kaspar shifts to kiss his forehead chastely before retreating far enough to remind him with a soft and caring smile-- ]

You should eat.

[pactmarshal]

[ The leaves on Trahearne's head bounce back stubbornly, as they always do. Trahearne himself, however, understands the gesture, and he appreciates it, his tension easing with Kaspar's gentle touch. Once again he feels indescribably lucky to be sharing a farm with someone like him; the fondness he feels for Kaspar is unique, familial. He wonders if he would have felt this way about his firstborn siblings if he'd spent more time at home with them. If he was not so concerned about being the first or the eldest.

His soft reassurance, the kiss to the forehead brings a smile to Trahearne's face. He's still too emotionally raw to be convinced that things--all the things he has been worried about--will be fine, but it's enough to ignite a little flame of confidence in him.

At Kaspar's prompting, he sits up in his seat and reaches for his plate again. As his hand moves to feed himself, he pauses again to look at him. ]

Your happiness is important to me, too, Kaspar. I hope you find some at the end of this. [ He hopes they both do, but Kaspar is especially hurt, it seems. ] Know that I am always here for you.

[bluminescence]

[ Kaspar sinks back against the couch in Trahearne's absence, gaze following him until the weight of his eyelids becomes too much. They fall closed by the time Trahearne looks back to him. The reassurances sink in beneath skin and sinew, settling near the constant hum of his light soul. His body, slightly curled in without someone to hold, goes lax with a relieved sigh.

He is just awake enough for a parting hum into the soft blanket over the couch, unusally messy curls fanned out. Kaspar's expression too, loses all tension as his breath goes even. Finally, sleep comes easy after so many hours. ]

🎀

[pactmarshal]

[ Trahearne smiles when he sees Kaspar giving in to sleep. That's good.

He leisurely finishes his breakfast, the loud thoughts of the dawn now nothing more than a subdued noise. When he's done eating, he puts his plates and the cooking bowls away quietly, careful not to wake his housemate.

He makes a detour to the bedroom to retrieve his own blanket. He unfolds it and gently lays it over Kaspar. He has a feeling he's going to be dozing there for a long while. With a gentle hand to his head, he murmurs, ] Rest well.

[ And with that, he leaves the house again, going to pick up the slack on the morning farm chores he'd so sorely neglected. And to do whatever Kaspar did not finish. ]