A foreboding feeling fills this place... (Feb - March Closed Threads for He Xuan)

[esurientabyss]

🌊Who: He Xuan, and peeps.
🌊What: Dating, other potential misc. stuff that's coming up.
🌊When: February - March.
🌊Where: Boat, various places on the island.
🌊Warnings: Some NSFW, alcohol. Fun times~



🎃 fall events

childe (tartaglia) | link to trio shenans

mundane/misc. activities
jack vessalius, kaveh, appreciation

⛄ winter time
a talk

Comments

For Childe (Tartaglia)

[esurientabyss]

[ Perhaps the most surprising thing about all of this is the moment he recalls Tartaglia turning up.

The other has indeed prided himself on being a man of his word, with possibly the implication that he will not also slip out of obligations (?), even with the fact of the matter being that. But, though He Xuan does hold still a particular fondness for him, it is not the type that will make him so blind. Nor does it change how he perceives the nature of others, in general.

Though, if that isn't enough, Tartaglia had shown up in a maid outfit.

That speaks enough on its own. Anyway, they've already drifted from one side of the boat to one particular place of the top deck, nearby the railing. The view of the sea is before their very eyes and occasionally the oceanic breeze is nice, even He Xuan himself is momentarily captivated by the sight. He rarely finds himself on a ship, for obvious reasons.

Regardless, he ventures speaking first since coming to this side. ]

What made you decide to come?

[ Admittedly, though their last few interactions have been a mix of complicated, with one downright a collection of frustration on both ends, He Xuan can't say he's entirely unhappy with the outcome. Far from it, when he put in this much effort, much as loathed being part of such a spectacle.

No pain, no gain. ]

[sluice]

After that stunt you pulled, should I have left you hanging?

[ Complicit in this absurdity, Tartaglia has no choice but to face it. All those lengths he'd taken to avoid being publicly dragged through the streets and he still has to deal with the consequences of his own actions.

The day is itching under these details and Tartaglia's self-conscious, patting down the pleats of the dress, blousy and roomy as his method of compartmentalization. Even from here, the view is beautiful, the ocean touched by sunlight for hours. It's shining in the water, refulgent and gleaming off of the railing that he's perched upon. ]

I'll keep my word, even if you piss me off. Seriously, what you were thinking, saying all of that...

[ That spiel sure was something. ]

... I could've done without the dress, at least.

[ Might've made things nominally less awkward, as Tartaglia tugs the skirt and petticoat down. No way was he missing today's appointment, not for any curse. ]

Are you willing to hear me out?

[esurientabyss]

No.

[ He Xuan is firm about that.

At the time of the auction, the throwing of coins may have appeared as if a last-minute impulse, and simply that. But for the most part, he wouldn't do things like that without having thought it all out; which, at the time, he certainly had. Even knowing what words were exchanged between them last, it's what he stubbornly resolved to do.

Is he going to pick apart all the reasons why? Why he didn't turn back to leave the tie-breaker fight? He's had more than enough time to do that.

Not enough time to stop being not affected over what the other male is wearing. So, to decisively conclude that the outfit has had no effect whatsoever on him would be pointless. Whatever the case, at the present, when the other male trails off, and then makes a commentary about the dress, a sound of possible amusement escapes him. Only he knows what he was thinking, of course.

He decides to comment on the other matter instead. ]

Maybe. But, it shows your willingness to appear, no matter your current state of dress. [ ... ] And you certainly could've been wearing worse.

[ Not that He Xuan imagines Tartaglia is very happy about being dressed like this right now.

Though, the slight movement out of the corner of his eye brings his attention, from the moving waters and the hanging blue sky, to briefly back to Tartaglia. Just in time for his question. ]

...I am. Go ahead.

[sluice]

That's what you're into?

[ Don't flip up his skirt, He Xuan.

Petulant, Tartaglia keeps staring out where the sky touches the sea, all of these clouds hanging so low like his mood, abstract in form and guttering around. Confronting the matter takes so much out of him, completely spoiling the silence. If he incurs He Xuan's wrath again, to hell with it. He'll just fling himself off the boat and swim away. Anywhere's better than dealing with that rancor again, choosing willing self-endangerment over frustration that could go on forever.

... As if. That isn't true, either. Subjecting himself to that gaze he's steeped in, Tartaglia's harboring this disgustingly human look, like he's already been dragged out to sea. ]

Did you want a target on your back that badly? [ What kind of appeal was that? ] What I said was unreasonable, but I wasn't lying to you that day. Telling me the truth only when it was convenient... what did you take me for? I had to force your hand.

[ In his lap, Tartaglia's hands are drawn so tightly together that his knuckles have gone bloodless. ]

I also know it didn't cross your mind. I never even asked. That's why...

[ Isn't it obvious? ]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry with you.

[esurientabyss]

I-

[ He Xuan becomes a little flustered, enough to for once being unable to say anything regarding the first question due to being so, eyes glancing away for a little bit, because well. Hm. It is true.

How embarrassing. But he imagines that is exactly Tartaglia's intention, and a small scoff leaves him.

Though, this time when Tartaglia asks about his motivations, he concludes there's no sense in evading it, and as he's carefully figuring how he would prefer to answer that, there is more that follows. Which of course ensures his lips are already curling downwards into another frown, wondering if it will just be something like a rehash of their last conversation. Not something he had in mind for a date.

But, even so, the other male keeps talking...and talking. Of all the things he might have imagined hearing from Tartaglia, it isn't an apology.

His expression seems unreadable, and cold as he's back to watching the other closely. Perhaps even unmoved. In the past, He Xuan was a far less forgiving man. Though... ]

No, you shouldn't have. At least, not to that extent. As for what the others think of me now...it matters little. My goal isn't to obtain everyone's approval. But, at that time, I had no intentions of losing. Not to anyone. If that means pissing off everyone here in the process, so be it.

[ He Xuan says bluntly, now that he has chosen to say it. He loathed having to deal with the crowd and appealing to a damned goddess of all people, but would he take it back? Absolutely not.

He does admittedly think that there is a point, about having at least mentioned some of that sooner. There is nothing so neat about this, though does it all have to be debated? Not so, when it doesn't serve them to rehash anything. ]

Whatever the case, I know you make the apology in earnest, and have no intention of rejecting it whatsoever. In retrospect, I hope you will also accept a proper apology for my foolishness, when I lashed out at you.

[ He Xuan had admitted he was wrong, it's true. But he wants to ensure that proper amends are made. And so he brings his hands together, bowing his head slightly in his direction. ]

[sluice]

[ One thing about overconfidence is that it can get so claustrophobic, acting so sharp and certain of himself of old and ferocious habit. Hubris is like that; Tartaglia never thinks to brace for worse, and it's when he's halfway into imminent disaster that he comes to recognition that he's being swallowed alive by it.

No way for him to talk his way out of this one, either. Leaning heavily into the palm of his hand, Tartaglia's flushed red to his face. There's this wordlessness sitting up high in his throat, when he's well and truly moved, but that's how it always is when he can't find the right thing to say. Rendered speechless, he has to fight to get his voice out. ]

C'mon. I didn't drag you all the way out here to wait around for anything like that. [ Don't bow, don't apologize? ] I like it when you're truthful with me. I don't need anything else.

[ Even if only underhandedness moves him, and even if he only ends up coming off as a sore hypocrite, these are the kind of contradictions Tartaglia lives with every day. Sometimes he's admiring, but mostly, he's blasphemous. Hopping off the railing, he's walking after only a moment's hesitation on the assurance that He Xuan will accompany him. ]

Well, I'll let bygones be bygones.

[ So he's wiping the slate clean. Hurry up and follow him, like Tartaglia's chasing the sun and its scorching plunge across the clouds as he heads toward the bow of the ship. ]

I had a bad go of it, a couple weeks ago. Doubt I even breathed outside of talking. [ Put him in a terrible mood, those days of sleeplessness and endless hunger. ] What was it like, being me?

[esurientabyss]

[ Seeing the way that crimson spreads across Tartaglia's face like that, he's a little caught up in it. It seems that somehow he has surprised him, and certainly not in an entirely awful manner. But it is memorable. Still, with those words, he's not keen to remain in his position for too long.

He Xuan straightens with ease, the motions from a moment earlier feeling like it's been centuries since he has done them. But more importantly is the fact that those sentences linger a bit longer in his head.

Though, there is no question that He Xuan will continue to accompany the other male, already moving to do so when he notices Tartaglia is, keeping step with ease; the simplest he's done today. His movements feeling lighter than they've been before. ]

Mm. And the other afflictions.

[ He Xuan would know of them. The all-consuming, constant hunger that hardly ever abates. The horrid nightmares. Things even he could do without, but still not satisfied with the reprieve as it was at the other's expense. ]

...Not physically uncomfortable; but, it had been centuries since I was in a human body again. Still, taking care was the easier part. Though, I ended up running into a few others—Diluc and Ellis—while this occurred. Gaku too, but probably a given, as you know we're at the same house.

Could also ask the same of you, if not for how I know how troublesome it is.

[ As they're walking down, he recalls something. He Xuan has been carrying some chocolates with him—these specifically being the ones they received at the beginning of the month. He takes out a small baggie he has put them in. Careful with that more than anything, even when he's taking one out.

So, he will offer it. ]

...Want one?

For Jack Vessalius

[esurientabyss]

[ Well, it hasn't been that long since he and Jack had gone on that little trip together into the mines towards the latter half of the previous month.

After the other male said something about them taking part in discovering what that honeydew was all about, saying he'd split it with him, it isn't any surprise that eventually this ghost king would show up. Why? Because it involved sharing some kind of liquid and due to certain chocolates nonsense. Might as well capitalize on that as too, no?

It doesn't take very long for a small knock to reach the blond's door at some point.

Technically he could have tracked him down or sent a letter, but that would be something normal people would do, wouldn't it? ]

For Kaveh

[esurientabyss]

[ Should be simple enough, right?

He Xuan doesn't quite care about the particulars, only that it so happens to involve food. By the end of this, he intends on just simply consuming the dessert.

After all, here he isn't necessarily adhering to the idea of actually learning how to make what they are.

...

At least this time in this baking attempt, he'll be able to keep himself from tasting the batter more than necessary. Probably. Anyway, Kaveh will find himself over at He Xuan and Gaku's place; nothing unusual about the house (except for potentially a small plastic baby or two that hadn't been put away or disposed of? Who knows.) ]

...What do you propose we make?

SLIDES HERE LATE WITH STARBUCKS

[alcazarzaray]

Hmm! Good question.

( Kaveh rubs his chin. )

What say we make some scones? They're versatile, easy, and they can be enjoyed savoury or sweet.

\o/! All good

[esurientabyss]

[ A slight tilt of his head. Huh, that's interesting...some kind of food he has never heard of before.

That just also serves to make him curious about what it'll look like as well. ]

Let's do that. Never heard of them, but I'll follow your lead.

[ Also let's pretend there's some baking ingredients out. Their house is well furnished, and well stocked, so this will be a simple matter. ]

[alcazarzaray]

Wait, you've never heard of scones before? Not to worry. I've made so many of these that I practically have the recipe memorised! All we'll need is self-raising flour, baking powder, salt, sugar, butter and milk.

( Kaveh won't rummage, he doesn't want to be rude! But the ingredients are so simple that he'll assume He Xuan has them. )

[esurientabyss]

[ No problem! Things like flour are already out in the open, same for baking powder, salt and sugar.

But he does need to retrieve the butter and milk from the fridge, which he'll do so, placing the two on the counter. ]

I have all of those.

What's the first step?

[alcazarzaray]

First, we need to mix the flour, salt, baking powder and sugar in a bowl. Then we gradually stir the milk into the flour mixture until you have a smooth dough. If I dump the flour in, you can pour the milk. I'd say around ... half a glass or so.

( Notice how he isn't measuring or weighing anything? Yeah. This is how he bakes. Measuring is for squares! He can wing it, it's fine! Anyway, once Kaveh prepares all the dry ingredients in the bowl, he holds it out so He Xuan can add the milk and stir. )

APPRECIATION-RELATED

[esurientabyss]

[ These will be sent to be received by the end of the month...regardless of whatever has transpired. ]

Tartaglia (Childe)

[esurientabyss]

Tartaglia,

As always, actions always suit me far better than words. Though, you've made no secret in how much you've valued honesty. Which is more than can be said of some people.

It was also entirely possible we could have never met, or have never decided to talk again even when we clashed. But, neither of those scenarios came to pass.

And I am glad they didn't.

- He Xuan

[ Alongside the letter is a small package. It is a painting that has been done of the sea with a night sky; within the waters is also a narwhal. It is done far well better than his original one, because he has been practicing hard in secret, and it's a disgrace to his past to let the skill degrade. ]

M-21

[esurientabyss]

M-21,

Early last month, you traversed through the waking nightmare, and still dared to approach. You sought to comfort me when I appreciated it little, and offered food at any given time.

Feel free to accept this gratitude as evidence I do not take actions for granted.

- He Xuan

[ M-21 is left with a bounty of his recent harvest as gifts. More food! ]

Sylvando

[esurientabyss]

Sylvando,

I will not forget when you offered me your assistance. In my head, it was as if it were centuries ago in that brief moment where I was human again, though that is clearly not the case.

Consider the following a token of my appreciation.

- He Xuan

[ A practical man first and foremost, he left some food. Two baskets of a recent harvest. ]

Gaku Yaotome

[esurientabyss]

[ Whenever Gaku returns from an outing, he will notice a large bowl of precisely, yet freshly cut fruit on the kitchen table, and a note addressed to him. ]

Gaku,

When we first met, I didn't think much of the fact you would bother to cook so often. Now is the time to state plainly I have appreciated it, and our association.

While we're still here, if there is anyone who gives you and Ellis difficulty, simply let me know, and I will bury them.

- He Xuan

Post-Gifting~

[esurientabyss]

[ So, a lot has occurred these past few months.

But, what's important is that He Xuan comes to a realization that he's done with doing any sort of dithering in anything. Not that, in retrospect, he's done much of it in his own, personal opinion, given his actions are not any less than his best.

...Though, the results of them at times have been dubious.

Still, it's all not enough for him. Not like this. He Xuan makes his appearance by Childe's lovely abode in the middle of the day, and raps a knuckle against the door if he isn't there. ]

Tartaglia. I've come to visit.

[ Who else can it be but He Xuan with that voice? ]

[sluice]

[ Opening the door to lean on the hinges, Tartaglia strikes a less than formidable figure just standing there in plain view. Hardly a look befitting the murderer he is, leaving it ajar so He Xuan can invite himself inside. ]

Come on in.

[ No other roommates to be concerned about, given that Power and Meowy have recently vacated the premises. Fetching a pitcher of water and a few cups to go on the living room's coffee table, he guides He Xuan to the couch. Go on, take a seat. He'll do the same, dropping into a very squashy armchair. ]

What's the occasion?

[esurientabyss]

[ When Tartaglia comes to the door, it's confirmation that he's home. Not that he expected much else, given the timing of his visit—it's quiet nonetheless, no sight of any roommates that would bother them.

But, easily, he allows himself to sit down on the couch. He Xuan doesn't quite yet reach for the cup that it settled onto the table, finding himself caught up in thought. To call this situation nerve-wracking is an understatement—ironic, isn't it? That he has existed for so long...well, a certain phrase comes to mind, so he just says it bluntly: ]

...Tartaglia, I find that I have fallen in love with you. I want to be with you, until the end of your days. There is no other who has managed to capture me so...as everything you have done, every moment we've spent together has meant more to me than I can manage in mere words.

However, make no mistake—when you need someone, I want to be that person.

[ His words are a bit more soft when he speaks here. But he suddenly stands, glad he isn't opening the cup because right now it'd be shattered in his hands from holding it so tight. ]

Together, we can be a force that shakes the foundation of any world, if you so wish it.

[sluice]

Came prepared, huh... that's unfair.

[ Upright he goes, stalking into plain view. He really is embarrassed; red, brilliantly red, all over, complexion too pale to hide the flush creeping over him. Tartaglia's reaching for He Xuan before the moment ends; he's nothing short of ruthless with his hand contoured to that cold face, loitering in the closeness. ]

Follow me and you'll have no choice but to keep moving forward. I won't let you live with anything less.

[ Soft, jagged statements, when he's raw with the words, fingers steadier than the gravity of what he's saying. ]

That's what it means to be precious to me. There's no way out of it.

[ Might just be slander, ignoring the cups and pitcher and any decorum to confess, grinding his teeth against any stuttering hesitation until the edge to his inflection melts. ]

Come with me. Stay by my side and witness me tear the world asunder. I'll let you accompany me to the end.

[esurientabyss]

[ For far too long He Xuan has found himself feeling so unprepared, off-center. But after a point in the fall, when everything seems to have been continously uncertain, clarity that seemed so distant even after vengeance had been taken, finally arrived. So, he quietly accepts those words gracefully, but when Tartaglia comes closer, he can't help feel foolish.

When the hand lightly touches his face, cold as ever, his expression melts into warmth, and despite the chill, it is as if spring has come. ]

I have no intention of doing otherwise.

There is no one else. I will see it all, experience it all with you...

[ These notions, perhaps sound so insane. But to him, they are earth-shattering and captivating - in conviction, in emotion, and everything. He Xuan will take it all. And so he leans forward... ]

...by your side. Until the end.

[ ...capturing the other’s lips against his. ]

[sluice]

[ Face turned, he leans in and allows the kiss, sinuous and slow, the barest hint of teeth underscoring everything. Then he withdraws, hand slid off of He Xuan's face. It's liminal space, too close and too far. ]

You're sure fond of kisses. What's up with that? I don't have that much experience! I'm pretty innocent, you know.

[ Lip-locking any of the girls in Liyue and Inazuma never even crossed his mind. No time for love or affection or anything that could break the nerves. Romance is a construct incompatible with bloodlust and self-annihilation. Plunking back down in the seat, he helps himself to pouring out a glass straight from the water pitcher.

He's parched, after all. He's also halfway to losing it, so he keeps taking sips of the same cupful, starving to satiate that glass-like itch under his bones, the compulsion to lose himself to violence like an unclutched flame. ]

Fight me. I'd like that rematch today. [ Someone's a foul (legacy) ginger again. ] Win, and... well, let's see. I'll tell you my real name. How about it?

[ But maybe they shouldn't go head-to-head indoors? This place isn't the least bit shabby anymore. No sense demolishing it now. ]