crescentview | winter catch-all

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Do you?

[He's not the one with his powers hanging in the balance. His answer here... it feels completely moot, if Owen doesn't even want it.]

[He opens his mouth, about to say “no” without even thinking, but then he pauses.]

…

[Does he? He shouldn’t. It’s far too risky, because what are the odds he’d be able to keep a promise of forever?

It’s impossible. It’s impossible, but there’s something about it that makes him pause, that keeps him from immediately rejecting the idea - because he does want to be with Otegine. Is marriage necessary for that? With the Goddess’ rules it seems it’s their only option…]

…

[Oh, hey!! The tea’s done steeping. Don’t mind him as he pours it out and tries to to panic, but he’s so distracted he nearly misses the cup he’s set out.

Love is something he’s never experienced. He’s still not sure it’s what he feels for Otegine, but he’s not sure trying to analyze his feelings is going to give him the answer. Does he want to bind his very existence to Otegine?

…If there’s anyone he could trust his self to…]

[Ah, shit. The tea is overflowing. He blinks at the spill, as if surprised that happened after he zoned out.]

I…

[Will have to clean up this mess, but it’s not the most pressing thing.]

I think so?

A-ah... Owen, O-owen, the tea--

[He reaches over frantically to at least tilt the kettle up so it stops pouring all over the table. What a mess. Still, he doesn't quite move to clean it up either, looking towards Owen with a flicker of genuine surprise.]

[The kettle is deposited on the table, the Touken getting up from his seat to at least guide the wizard away from the spill with a careful tug against his wrists.]

Owen... hey, look at me...

...

... I'm not going to force that on you. Even if she'd given me the feather, I... I still wouldn't want you to say yes, if you weren't absolutely sure.

[A safeguard at worst. But at its best...

Was that even something he deserved? That Owen wanted? To be tied to one another with that kind of weight between them, with duty heavy on both of their hearts in two separate worlds? Would it work?

Did... Otegine himself want it to work? Is that why the thought of going home ached him right now, more than it felt a comfort?

...

He keeps Owen's hands clenched between his own.]

If you need time to think about it, please. Please, think as long as you need to. But...

If I can give you that option someday... just know that I want to. With, or-- or without the goddess blessing it.

[If they never receive the goddess' blessing, they'll never leave. If their strength relies on hers, there's no chance in finding another way. Well - there could be, but it might take centuries to find it.

The feathers are their best chance to get out of here.

(How does she expect anyone to decide what they want to do with the rest of their lives in just four months?? There's no way everyone else on this island isn't as conflicted as he is, right? He can't be that bad with all that romance stuff, right???)

He wasn't made to do all this thinking.]

The longer we sit and agonize over what to do, the less clear it's going to be. We'll get tangled up in all of these worries about promises, about our duties, about everything else around us and there will never be an easy answer.

[...]

I don't want to spend centuries of my life wondering if I should make a promise or not. It will never be the smart thing, or the safe thing. That's one of the few immutable facts of the world... unless the goddess can change that. Neither of us really knows what she can do, do we?

[If she could, it would make everything so much easier, but hoping for an easy solution just seems like setting yourself up to have your hopes entirely crushed. Still...

It's a possibility. She doesn't work under the same rules as either of their worlds, so maybe promises made under her dominion wouldn't have the same clauses...?]

If you had a feather to give me, I would take it. I'm going to be with you for as long as you can stand me, anyways, so... would it really change all that much? We can figure out if there's any loopholes or whatever later, but... but that much should be safe to do.

[It seems so knee-jerk, an almost panicked decision from the wizard, that Otegine has to keep himself very deliberately calm as Owen tries to voice our his feelings. It's... heartening, to hear Owen wouldn't say no. But the reasoning...

His hands leave Owen's to instead raise to his face, cupping either side of his head right behind the line of his jaw, as though to keep his gaze from leaving the Touken.]

No, we don't know. I asked as much. All she told me was that, if we don't think a vow is possible... then we shouldn't be asking for engagement. That it was a compromise that needed to be made between us. Not with her. If it's in her capability, I don't know if she's even willing to provide it.

...

[His eyes soften, a little pained, before leaning forward with a glancing kiss against Owen's temple.]

I'm not going anywhere, Owen. But I don't want either of us making a choice just because we're scared. We've been through worse in waiting. And it doesn't need to take centuries.

...I can't go back to her right now regardless, you know. Even if I could, I already gave her my ultimatum, and I don't feel any different - I'm not going to ask you for marriage if it's pinning you into a position where you don't have a choice.

...

[His eyes falter, dropping to the ground as his fingers curl gently against Owen's hair.]

... She needs to hear words of love, anyway. I... already told her what I felt. But I don't think it was good enough.

She asks for a lot, doesn’t she?

[The affection keeps him seated, so he doesn’t go storming off to yell at the goddess and get himself killed again. The casual touches are nice, even during a conversation like this. It’s like soothing a wild beast, but much more ridiculous.]

I’ll go ask her, then. I’ll make her give me an answer.

[Is that a good idea? Probably not.

He leans into the touch, closing his eyes as he just enjoys it as he mulls over his words.]

But… she’s not wrong. [wow he hated saying that] About being sure about our vows before we make them - but I don’t think she understood exactly what you meant, either. You want me to make a promise to you without the burden of guilt and danger, right?

[He had never thought of how much of a burden that could be, for those wizards made promises to…

This is so complicated, but he’s too stubborn to let the goddess win.]

Leave it to me.

[don’t]

[It gives him pause. He wanted to think he was asking a question on Owen's behalf, not his own. But...

...

He really was just hesitating again in a different way, wasn't he?]

...Only if you want the same. If it's a burden I have to hold, the guilt and danger that might come... I'm willing to live with it. I know what it means for you.

I just want to keep protecting you. So it's hard, knowing this... this might not be one of those things I can handle.

[He doesn't like how useless he feels, for something that should be momentous and wonderful. He wants to ease the worry away... perhaps just as much for himself as for Owen.

Alarm bells are still going off in his head, knowing what's happened with Owen and the goddess in the past. But this is his future. His say. So Otegine exhales shakily, backing up to look at Owen with a serious gaze.]

Give it a day, at least? I trust you. But... I know you don't like her. And she knows you're just as stubborn as she is. [His thumbs roll circles against the base of Owen's skull.] I don't want to see you die again just yet. Not over this.

Edited 2023-03-06 19:33 (UTC)

Don't worry about it. [he should probably worry about it] I'm sure I'll get her to see eye-to-eye with me.

[Maybe. He'll... try, at least. Attempt to try.

What's the worst that could happen?]

With us.

[He straightens up a bit, even though he'd gladly just sit there and have his hair pet. The spilled tea vanishes, and Owen sighs. He had actually been kind of looking forward to that, so it's time to start the process all over again.]

Besides, the only way you can keep protecting me is at my side. This will help keep you there, won't it?

[It sounds less like a promise and more a declaration of ownership... which just makes the Touken color despite himself.

Otegine gives him space to stand, reaching over for the discarded kettle.]

Under her rules, I guess.

You don't need to keep me anywhere, anyways. I want to stay, even if she keeps saying no. But--

It's... nice to hear.

[He sees that blush! He wants to be owned soooo bad.

Owen's fine with that, honestly, but it's not the time.]

Okay, but what about... if I have to go back? The Great Calamity is still out there.

[He's also going to start pulling things out to cook. Or bake. Anything to occupy his mind, which sort of means ingredients of all sorts are floating through the air right now.]

Would you come with me?

[He's not expecting a yes - or even a no, really. It's a heavy thing to consider. Owen would gladly throw away his own duty if not for the affliction he's been cursed with, but Otegine is far more dedicated, far more caring, then he is.

Better to start thinking about it now then when it's too late to make a decision, though.]

[He's quiet for a long while, ducking to let a bag of sugar pass by on its way to Owen. As Owen works on that, Otegine fetches the discarded cups, letting the dry one settle so he can pour what's left into it and slide it across the counter to Owen.]

I'll make more.

[But it's not an answer to Owen's question, and as Otegine refills the kettle, he has to think over a response.

His saniwa needs him. His saniwa is who holds his contract to the world. How he even still exists in this separation from time is beyond him. Would that even still stand, if he went to another universe?

Besides, he'd never known anything outside of Japan, until his time here. What use would he be, in a world that had magic and wizards? Even with Owen at his side... could it be home? Could he find a place?

...]

...

I don't know. Someday, I... think it would be nice. To feel... free, like that. To fight with you.

I don't know if I could give that to you right away. It could just be a death sentence of my own, if I separate from the agreement of my summoning. Or... I guess more of just bringing things back to how they should be. [Since he's supposed to be dead, anyway.]

[Hmm.

It's not a complete rejection of the idea, and the hesitation is... understandable, but maybe there's a solution to that.]

Would it be possible to make an agreement with someone else? To bind your spirit to them? You changed masters plenty of times before.

[So... it's possible, isn't it? Not that Owen knows much about contracts and things like that, but. It could be nice.

A much neater bond then whatever they get from the feathers, honestly.]

[...What was he asking?

It rattles Otegine's brain for a short bit. If Hizen were still here, maybe he could answer, but... the methods of the saniwa were still pretty unfamiliar to him.]

...

I... Maybe? I'm no mage or anything, so I don't know.

It's not really binding myself to them - I don't exactly want to possess anyone. It's more, uh... I can't exist without his magic giving me a body. He called for me, and gave me the tools and power I needed to do what he asked of me. He's the one who ensures I'm repaired and watched over, and I protect and serve him until his goals are over, or until I break.

[...

He gently turns off the faucet from refilling the kettle, casting Owen a pensive look.]

...Why?

I bet my magic is much stronger then his.

[It's probably a different kind of magic, but he can't imagine this saniwa guy could beat him. Summoning isn't that complicated.

He's definitely putting the cart before the horse, but...]

If the Goddess refuses me, why don't I just make you mine? I'm sure I have more then enough magic to sustain your corporeal form, and I've got experience with making spirits bend to my will.

[Is this really a good backup plan? No. But it's probably more likely then the Goddess and Owen getting along.]

[His expression flattens a bit, a brow raising. "Bend to his will", huh?

He can guess what Owen's trying to do, here - the assurance of his own magical strength isn't something Otegine had ever doubted... and the idea of making a contract with Owen in lieu of vows is... a pretty intimate option that would keep them a little more reliant on one another than before.

But... hmm...]

...

Mm. I have my pride, you know.

[He exhales softly, going back to the kettle as he tries to search for wherever that magical box of tea floated off to. It's a nice idea, but he has to have standards for something!!]

Is that how you'd contract with me?

[To his credit(???), Owen does think it over.]

No. That wouldn’t be any fun. You’re different then the spirits that wizards draw their magic from.

[He moves to Otegine’s side, pressing against him. The box of tea hovers just above them, just a bit out of Otegine’s reach. He places his hands on his chest, smirking.]

I’d ask you nicely, first, and then find a way to convince you if you still weren’t sure about it… I’m not going to let you go that easily, and I have my ways.

[He rolls his eyes, the hand that was vainly reaching for the tea now wrapping against one of Owen's wrists.]

Sure, sure... [His head cocks to the side, a slight pang of hurt in his expression.] Show a little more respect for the kami, maybe? We don't get threatened into contracts, no matter how much we might like someone. I'm no different than the goddess like that.

[The Goddess will get his respect when she deserves it, which is probably never because Owen is stubborn.

Unfortunately.]

The Northern spirits respect shows of power, so that’s what I’m used to.

[He shrugs one shoulder.]

You’re way more likable then the Goddess and them, anyways. I’ll listen to you.

[A beat.]

Besides, who said my convincing would have been threatening?

[winky face]

[He looks openly confused at the jab for a second, the intention flying straight over his head. RIP Owen.

Still, he sighs, bringing Owen's wrist up to his lips briefly.]

I know you're powerful. Even if you don't have the same effect here... I've seen otherwise. You don't have to convince me of that. I've seen enough.

If you want a contract, I need to hear a plea. Why you want my power, and why I should trust you with my well-being, rather than possessing you for my own goals. [He won't. But any wandering spirit would jump at a similar chance.]

[God. Otegine is lucky that Owen is into himbos.]

I’ll get on my knees and beg for whatever you can give me.

[Will that get through to him? Probably not, but now Owen needs to see how far he can go before Otegine catches up.]

Do you want me to? I can do it right now.

[Owen? Begging??? That seems so unlikely that Otegine is actually rendered speechless at the idea.

Except... he remembers how Owen had been during the cruise. Hm.

His lower lip slips between his teeth as he breaks eye contact for a moment. He suddenly feels they are not having the same conversation anymore.]

...You've got flour floating around behind you, Owen. Maybe not when you're in the middle of something? It's... kind of important.

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1/??

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ok i’m done

Gay panic: not even once (also 1/2)

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