[ Oh, right. He pulls it out the pocket and checks... the slow dancing has been marked! He nods to Diluc's question and puts the bingo card away. He's not sure what to grab at, so he just fiddles with the hem of his own shirt. ]
Why don't we make this an even exchange? I have 'cuddling' on my card, which should be simple enough to fulfill.
[Diluc can speak about it easily because he doesn't see anything untoward about cuddling with Ellis. This is just for the sake of fulfilling squares, right? No one's catching unnecessary feelings, right??]
[ Diluc really dead ass saying that when he saw Ellis potentially catching feelings on their first meeting. Okay, man!!! But, well. Cuddling is fine. He really went up to a complete stranger and asked to cuddle with him so that he could get a bingo square done. It shouldn't be that hard with Diluc!
Except, yeah. It kinda is, with how warm he is and how intimate it feels. He has all sorts of mixed feelings. Despite that, he nods. It's cuddle time, Diluc. ]
[ Ellis is incredibly flustered when Diluc takes him to a bed, because when Kaspar and Ellis cuddled, they just kinda hugged it out below the shade of a tree and the former fell asleep. But the bed?? Huh?????
But from how Diluc says that they'll get it over with quickly, it manages to smack him in the face to make him forcibly calm down. It's kinda working.
So once they both lie down, Ellis wraps an arm around Diluc's torso, gets close, and nuzzles a little into his neck. It's basically Intimate Hugging. ]
[is the bed not... where you cuddle.............???
But— oh. Diluc is always warm, but he noticeably heats when Ellis wraps his arms around him. Slow dancing is one thing — there's an expectation of modesty there, despite the closeness — but this is different. This is new. His muscles tense beneath Ellis' touch. Well... All he can do is endure it, right..........? Right.]
[ Ellis looks up when he feels Diluc tense and mouths: "relax" before settling in and quietly breathing out. Diluc is really warm and while he's not the kind of person to be sleeping when there's another person in the room, the warmth threatens to send him to dreamland, just like before.
Well, it seems Ellis is enjoying the cuddling at least. ]
[Relax...? Alright, he can do that. He's a capable man.
Not. Diluc's muscles relax a hair, but he's still tenser than a corpse, struggling to find a place to fit his arms to Ellis. Fuck it, he's just going to hold him around his waist. This is cuddling, right? It's like slow dancing but horizontal and with a lot less movement.]
[ Ellis isn't a serial cuddler, but since he likes cuddling, it's easy for him. He can gradually tell that Diluc is trying his best to make himself emotionally unavailable, but Ellis wants him to relax, so he tries gently patting Diluc's back as if to comfort him or lull him to sleep. ]
[...He gets it. He's uncomfortably stiff, right? Diluc tries his best to relax, and he manages gradually, but it's not easy. He's always on guard, always prepared for a fight, so it's hard to tamp down on his natural instincts. He's managing at least, if only with considerable effort, reaching up a hand to sift through Ellis' hair with uncertainty. Is this good...?]
[ Oh... It's an additional gesture that he didn't expect, but Ellis likes it tremendously to the point that he unknowingly purrs from the back of his throat. He has no volume control, so it's pretty loud. He even tries to lean his head into Diluc's hand. ]
[Ah? Was that good? He'll keep stroking down Ellis' hair then, testing the waters by raking his nails lightly against his scalp. Does this feel good...?]
[ MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. That hits the spot. Ellis is enjoying this immensely, even giggling a little with his eyes closed. His hand feels nice on his head and he hugs Diluc tighter. ]
[ Ellis nods after looking up at Diluc. It feels nice and it makes him momentarily forget about the intimacy problems they both have for different reasons, because this is the shit. It's great. He's so warm... In comparison, Ellis isn't as warm, but he's not cold either. He feels more... lukewarm. ]
[Ellis feels... nice, to put it in a single word. Diluc settles against him, slowly but surely, listening to Ellis' steady breathing and finding himself soothed by it.
He hasn't held anyone like this in longer than he remembers. If he isn't careful, he'll grow to miss it.]
[ Ellis is glad that Diluc seems to be relaxing little by little. Grapes smell nice... he tilts his head up to look at Diluc's face and tilts his head as if to ask if he's doing okay. ]
[His face... isn't very expressive, but Ellis is aware of that by now. He meets his gaze regardless, figuring he's looking for an answer of some sort, and— well, how about this?]
...Thank you, Ellis. This feels nice.
[He sounds a bit uncertain, a bit stiff, but he means it. This is just thoroughly unfamiliar territory to him, so he's trying his best to acclimate.]
[ Ellis moves his hands to gently caress Diluc's face with one hand on each cheek and gently moves his thumbs in circles. It's to help him feel safe and to show him what people can do while cuddling to show more intimacy. ]
[...Ah. Right, this is part of 'cuddling,' but Diluc's expression stiffens and his gaze falls off Ellis. Being touched like this is nice, warm in a way he's no longer intimately familiar with, but he's only realizing through experiencing it that it may be more than he can handle.
This isn't for him— the sort of man he is, more a vehicle for vengeance than a proper human being. He eases out of Ellis' touch because he can no longer stand being handled so gently.]
Ellis keeps the smile on his face anyway, gently patting his head and withdrawing his hands as if to say that he did well. A good attempt was made. Diluc is free to sit up and leave, but Ellis might stay on the bed a little because of his ankle. ]
[What a frustrating feeling. He sits up and turns away from Ellis, but he's still sat on the mattress' edge, hunched over and cursing where Ellis can't see it. He's done nothing wrong, just— who knew he'd be reminded of how lonely he is through the simple act of punching off another square? Then again, it's not so simple after all, is it? He'd underestimated that damned goddess, and thinking about it, his knuckles bleach white beneath his gloves where he's clenched his hands into fists in his lap.]
Ellis wonders if Diluc doesn't feel well after that, but it was because he was gentle, wasn't it? He can only offer those sorts of interactions because the other is much worse in his opinion. Ellis would rather people be happy for all the wrong reasons.
So he scoots next to Diluc and tries to give him a quick hug from the back. ]
Naturally, Ellis is worried. Diluc had suspected he might be, but shaking his head, he struggles a bit to give him an answer. This whole situation is... novel. Both for better and for worse. He turns so Ellis can read his lips.]
I'm sorry, Ellis. It's been a long time since I've embraced anyone. I'll admit I'm no longer certain how best to handle myself in situations like this.
[It's not a lie. As for the underlying truth, Diluc has yet to make peace with it, much less fully understand it.]
[ It's just a hug. Just some cuddling. He seemed to handle the dance fine, but was it because it was easy to maintain distance? Ellis writes on Diluc's palm: ]
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Why don't we make this an even exchange? I have 'cuddling' on my card, which should be simple enough to fulfill.
[Diluc can speak about it easily because he doesn't see anything untoward about cuddling with Ellis. This is just for the sake of fulfilling squares, right? No one's catching unnecessary feelings, right??]
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Except, yeah. It kinda is, with how warm he is and how intimate it feels. He has all sorts of mixed feelings. Despite that, he nods. It's cuddle time, Diluc. ]
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[Because that's just the kind of relationship this is! No unnecessary feelings needed!!
Diluc carries Ellis home and plops him into bed, crawling in alongside him. Ah...]
...Well, I'll admit this a bit outside the realm of things I'm used to doing.
[In other words, bitch doesn't know the first thing about cuddling. Ellis??]
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But from how Diluc says that they'll get it over with quickly, it manages to smack him in the face to make him forcibly calm down. It's kinda working.
So once they both lie down, Ellis wraps an arm around Diluc's torso, gets close, and nuzzles a little into his neck. It's basically Intimate Hugging. ]
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But— oh. Diluc is always warm, but he noticeably heats when Ellis wraps his arms around him. Slow dancing is one thing — there's an expectation of modesty there, despite the closeness — but this is different. This is new. His muscles tense beneath Ellis' touch. Well... All he can do is endure it, right..........? Right.]
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Well, it seems Ellis is enjoying the cuddling at least. ]
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Not. Diluc's muscles relax a hair, but he's still tenser than a corpse, struggling to find a place to fit his arms to Ellis. Fuck it, he's just going to hold him around his waist. This is cuddling, right? It's like slow dancing but horizontal and with a lot less movement.]
Sorry. As you might suspect, this is new to me.
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Does it feel that nice?
[Please enlighten him. He wouldn't know!]
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He hasn't held anyone like this in longer than he remembers. If he isn't careful, he'll grow to miss it.]
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...Thank you, Ellis. This feels nice.
[He sounds a bit uncertain, a bit stiff, but he means it. This is just thoroughly unfamiliar territory to him, so he's trying his best to acclimate.]
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This isn't for him— the sort of man he is, more a vehicle for vengeance than a proper human being. He eases out of Ellis' touch because he can no longer stand being handled so gently.]
...Sorry.
[He can't handle it after all.]
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Ellis keeps the smile on his face anyway, gently patting his head and withdrawing his hands as if to say that he did well. A good attempt was made. Diluc is free to sit up and leave, but Ellis might stay on the bed a little because of his ankle. ]
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Ellis wonders if Diluc doesn't feel well after that, but it was because he was gentle, wasn't it? He can only offer those sorts of interactions because the other is much worse in his opinion. Ellis would rather people be happy for all the wrong reasons.
So he scoots next to Diluc and tries to give him a quick hug from the back. ]
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Naturally, Ellis is worried. Diluc had suspected he might be, but shaking his head, he struggles a bit to give him an answer. This whole situation is... novel. Both for better and for worse. He turns so Ellis can read his lips.]
I'm sorry, Ellis. It's been a long time since I've embraced anyone. I'll admit I'm no longer certain how best to handle myself in situations like this.
[It's not a lie. As for the underlying truth, Diluc has yet to make peace with it, much less fully understand it.]
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Does it make you feel bad?
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