[This is the part where he starts getting frustrated because he just can't help it. There's a lot of baggage between them, Gaku.]
What would it matter if I did? We've agreed to no longer communicate with each other, and that's a line we should have crossed years ago. No good has ever come from knowing him, but that bastard had the nerve to mourn me when that woman took my life. His was the last face I saw before I died.
[And what's why he's so rattled, unable to eat or sleep or ignore Kaeya's feelings any longer.]
Don't speak so flippantly when you have no idea what damage that man has done.
[Yeah yeah, just ignore Diluc and his dramatics. No matter how angry he sounds, it's clear that anger really isn't pointed at Gaku.]
I've known Kaeya since we were children. My family took him in only for him to turn around and betray me some years later. He lied to me, and he's been lying to me his entire life. How do you expect me to humor any feelings for him?
[Gaku's taking the right approach and refusing to let Diluc turn this into an argument as a means to deflect. That leaves him with no choice but to address the situation directly, answering in a low, flat monotone.]
He lied about where he came from and what he came to do. He was a spy planted in our family to gather information and take it back to his home country. We'd known each other for well over a decade before he finally admitted the truth to me.
[And he did so on Diluc's birthday, what a nice gift, but also the eve of his father's death. Kaeya's timing couldn't have been any worse.]
Edited (i never learned how to read) 2022-12-26 05:49 (UTC)
[Gaku is right, of course, but this is where emotion and logic are at odds with one another. Diluc grows silent, that anger in him dampened, but it never really goes away. Not entirely.]
A betrayal is a betrayal. If he trusted me, he would have told me the truth much sooner.
[And that's that really hurts: being inseparable from someone who held such a dark secret, thinking you knew everything about them when you really knew nothing at all. Diluc grows quieter still.]
Back then, I thought I knew everything about him. I never lied to him. Any secrets I had, I trusted him to keep them. In the end, that implicit trust was never mutual. That's why it doesn't matter what I feel for him now.
Have you actually thought about this from his side? I get being hurt, but when you involve actual spying and politics, things are a lot more complicated than whether or not he trusts you specifically.
[ That's how it works in his own world, so surely it's similar in Diluc's. ]
What would you have done? You said your family took him in as a kid, right? They're trusting a kid to spy. What the hell do you think he was supposed to do? Any kid is gonna be scared to talk about that kind of thing because they don't really understand the whole situation.
[Right again, Gaku. These hurt feelings are years old and built upon even older memories, but neither of them have been willing to talk about what happened that night. They've spent the last several years toeing around the issue, existing in each other's space without acknowledging any of the issues piling up around them.
He can't go on this way. Neither can Kaeya. In speaking to Gaku, he has no choice but to accept the truth for what it is. If the last face he sees before he dies once and for all is Kaeya's, he'll spend the afterlife wracked with guilt knowing he's the reason why their relationship ceased to be as strong as it once was. The onus is on him to fix this now.]
...As he is now, he won't speak to me. I don't know what condition he's in after seeing me die, but I have my suspicions. It would be better if someone else spoke to him before I do, considering the state he must be in.
[ He wants to ask about the conditions of Diluc's death, but he figures it's probably for the best to let it be vague. After all, he regretted asking about Owen's own death. ]
[Diluc's smiles are rare things, but Gaku has earned this one. Diluc looks so much younger, much more his age, when he genuinely smiles. It's a shame he doesn't more often... but who knows what the future holds? Right now, he's not as apprehensive about it as he was before, like a weight's been lifted off his mind. Thanks, Gaku.]
I'm certain we'll reach a resolution that works for us both. As for you and Ellis, I wish both of you the best. If you're ever at an impasse, reach out to me.
[Gaku knows Ellis best of everyone on the island, but everyone benefits from a little support now and then.
Ah... but now he has to think about how to get that portrait out of Gaku's home. Smell that, Gaku? A small fire has started in one of the trash bins outside. Hmm.]
[Good. Fall for it. Diluc's smile remains on his face until the moment Gaku's back is turned, and then he's scowling, staring at that god-forsaken portrait with intent.]
Until then, Gaku.
[And just as soon as Gaku leaves, Diluc jerks out of his chair to pull that painting off the wall and run off with it. Goodbye, Gaku. He heads straight to the peak of the mountain to set it aflame and kick it into the void. All's well that ends well, as they say. Another successful hunt.]
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no subject
[ He repeats Diluc's own words back to him, understanding dawning on his own features. ]
But you do anyway, don't you?
tw death ment............ again
What would it matter if I did? We've agreed to no longer communicate with each other, and that's a line we should have crossed years ago. No good has ever come from knowing him, but that bastard had the nerve to mourn me when that woman took my life. His was the last face I saw before I died.
[And what's why he's so rattled, unable to eat or sleep or ignore Kaeya's feelings any longer.]
death mention
Of course he would mourn you. I don't know what you expected when he has feelings for you.
no subject
[Yeah yeah, just ignore Diluc and his dramatics. No matter how angry he sounds, it's clear that anger really isn't pointed at Gaku.]
I've known Kaeya since we were children. My family took him in only for him to turn around and betray me some years later. He lied to me, and he's been lying to me his entire life. How do you expect me to humor any feelings for him?
no subject
But you do.
[ He's going to reiterate that, however, because he's not letting Diluc out of this. ]
Tell me what he did. What did he lie about?
no subject
He lied about where he came from and what he came to do. He was a spy planted in our family to gather information and take it back to his home country. We'd known each other for well over a decade before he finally admitted the truth to me.
[And he did so on Diluc's birthday, what a nice gift, but also the eve of his father's death. Kaeya's timing couldn't have been any worse.]
no subject
...Sounds to me like he chose to betray his home country by telling you. Isn't the number one rule of a spy to not tell someone those things?
no subject
A betrayal is a betrayal. If he trusted me, he would have told me the truth much sooner.
[And that's that really hurts: being inseparable from someone who held such a dark secret, thinking you knew everything about them when you really knew nothing at all. Diluc grows quieter still.]
Back then, I thought I knew everything about him. I never lied to him. Any secrets I had, I trusted him to keep them. In the end, that implicit trust was never mutual. That's why it doesn't matter what I feel for him now.
no subject
[ That's how it works in his own world, so surely it's similar in Diluc's. ]
What would you have done? You said your family took him in as a kid, right? They're trusting a kid to spy. What the hell do you think he was supposed to do? Any kid is gonna be scared to talk about that kind of thing because they don't really understand the whole situation.
death ment
He can't go on this way. Neither can Kaeya. In speaking to Gaku, he has no choice but to accept the truth for what it is. If the last face he sees before he dies once and for all is Kaeya's, he'll spend the afterlife wracked with guilt knowing he's the reason why their relationship ceased to be as strong as it once was. The onus is on him to fix this now.]
...As he is now, he won't speak to me. I don't know what condition he's in after seeing me die, but I have my suspicions. It would be better if someone else spoke to him before I do, considering the state he must be in.
death mention
...Do you want me to talk to him?
[ He doesn't really mind. ]
no subject
Not you. You know too much.
no subject
Afraid he'll ask me questions I actually know the answer to?
no subject
I'm afraid you'll get in over your head. Is one chronic liar not enough for you?
no subject
[ He has a feeling Kaeya would turn any conversation about Diluc right around to Gaku and Ellis. ]
no subject
[But that's enough about Kaeya's bad behavior. He owes Gaku a debt, inclining his head in a thankful nod.]
...I appreciate your support, Gaku. I hadn't intended to make my problems yours, but I do feel relieved to have gotten it off my chest.
no subject
[ He smiles. As an idol, he's there to provide support to fans and non-fans alike. ]
I hope it works out, even if you decide in the end that you still don't want to pursue him.
no subject
I'm certain we'll reach a resolution that works for us both. As for you and Ellis, I wish both of you the best. If you're ever at an impasse, reach out to me.
[Gaku knows Ellis best of everyone on the island, but everyone benefits from a little support now and then.
Ah... but now he has to think about how to get that portrait out of Gaku's home. Smell that, Gaku? A small fire has started in one of the trash bins outside. Hmm.]
no subject
Thanks. I might take you up on that offer someday.
[ Gaku smiles, but then he smells smoke coming from outside, so he excuses himself before going to take care of that. ]
no subject
Until then, Gaku.
[And just as soon as Gaku leaves, Diluc jerks out of his chair to pull that painting off the wall and run off with it. Goodbye, Gaku. He heads straight to the peak of the mountain to set it aflame and kick it into the void. All's well that ends well, as they say. Another successful hunt.]