[ Diluc's correct in thinking that Kaeya won't believe those words. Diluc? Missing him? Please, he has a hard time believing that, but he does pause when Diluc brings up "back then". Really? Are they going to finally talk about it? ]
[ Hesitant to start speaking of the past and testing the waters (how serious is Diluc about this talk?), he doesn't answer the question. ]
Does it matter? I still betrayed you and your trust.
[ And the end result was still the same - he still lost Diluc. ]
[Yeah. They're finally talking about it, Kaeya. It's no easier for Diluc, fingers biting into his arms as he picks carefully through the myriad thoughts on his mind in search of the proper words.]
I betrayed you too, Kaeya. I betrayed the trust you spent years building up in a single breath. What does it matter who drew first blood?
[And that's the reality of their situation: they've both hurt each other, but have they truly cut each other so deeply that their wounds are beyond healing? Diluc used to think so, but with a little help from the Power Of Friendship™, he's begun to think otherwise.]
...I was so afraid of losing everyone I loved that I gave into that fear and chose to leave first. I thought it wouldn't hurt as badly if I were the one leaving you behind, but all I've succeeded in doing is hurting us both. For that, I can't expect you to forgive me.
[ Kaeya looks off to the side. He doesn't quite know what to say. He's always wished for a moment like this, to make amends and move on from that night, but now that he's actually here, he has no idea how to feel. On one hand, it's reliving that Diluc is finally talking to him about this and admitting things that even Kaeya never would have thought he'd say. However, on the other hand, he doesn't know what Diluc has in mind after this conversation. He doesn't want to get his hopes up. For all he knows, Diluc can pull a fast one and say that he just wanted to get this off his conscience before leaving. ]
[ His mouth is dry as he keeps his arms crossed. ]
[Kaeya has always been this way. For someone who loves a good challenge, jumping headlong into risky ventures thinking only of the payoff on the other side, he's always treaded carefully where feelings are concerned. He's always been afraid, unwilling to put his foot down until he's certain the ground beneath his heel won't crumble away.
For so long, Diluc was that solid ground for Kaeya. They've changed, grown up and grown apart, but there remains enough between them that they can broach this conversation. Diluc won't fool himself into thinking it will end on a positive note, nor will it mend every bridge he's burned, but this conversation is all he has now. Kaeya is all he has, one of the few who remains with love in his heart for a wretch like himself.
His feet feel leaden when he peels himself away from the door and approaches Kaeya, forcing his arms loose and staring him down. He's tense, as is Kaeya, but Diluc pushes past his reservations to wrap Kaeya up tightly in his arms. If Kaeya pushes him away, he'll go. If he orders him to leave, he won't hesitate. But for the sake of doing his part to make amends, all Diluc can do is try, throwing everything he has into one final act of forgiveness and vulnerability.]
[ Kaeya looks up right as Diluc embraces him. He's stiff, tense at first, unable to comprehend the moment, but it quickly dawns on him. Diluc is hugging him, for the first time since they were teenagers, and it's out of his own free will. Honestly, Kaeya thought he would never see this happen ever again, so he's stunned - touched, really. ]
[ He doesn't know what sprung this sudden development for Diluc, but he's not complaining because it's everything that he's wanted since their separation. He didn't think he'd get it, especially not when their relationship dove off into the deep end weeks ago, but that moment is happening now. ]
[ It takes him a few seconds before he can snap out of his disbelief and to finally allow himself to lower his walls. Out of his own comfort, and to ensure that this moment is real, he holds back just as tightly. ]
[It's almost hard to believe that Kaeya's returning his embrace, but Diluc only holds on tighter, feeling that old, familiar spark of warmth in his chest for the first time in years. He hasn't held Kaeya in so long, but it feels like only yesterday that he'd yanked him into his arms just as he had so often in their youth. It feels right, natural, like finally slotting in the missing piece of a puzzle he's been trying years to solve. The right answer was in front of him all along, and yet...]
...Then don't. I won't allow it.
[How ironic that he was always the one supporting Kaeya when he needed it. The opposite is true now, his knees threatening to give when relief finally hits him, taking Kaeya down with him to sit on the mattress' edge. This is selfish of him, he knows, but he isn't ready to let Kaeya go. Not yet. Until this wellspring of emotion in him has settled, he keeps Kaeya wrapped up tightly in his arms.]
I'd also like to apologize for the argument we had at the house. He Xuan means little to me, but what's why you were upset, right?
[ Diluc can continue to be selfish and hold on because Kaeya wishes for the same thing. It's been so long since he felt Diluc's warm embrace. He'd be lying if he said that he didn't miss it. He can't help but bury his face in Diluc's shoulder and take a deep inhale, that familiar scent instantly bringing him back to their teenager years when things were much simpler. ]
[ He's content to stay like this for a bit longer, but ah, right, the argument at the house - the one that caused him to leave their temporary home in the first place. Since it happened, he's been thinking about it, how it occurred and how he acted. It's given him time to reflect and to also find that his actions were unreasonable. So, he shakes his head. Diluc's not the only one who should apologize for that argument. ]
I overreacted. You were right - you don't need permission from me to do anything.
[ ... and he pauses before adding this last part. ]
[Ah, but he knows why Kaeya overreacted the way he did. While he was frustrated at the time, Diluc understands well enough now that he doesn't fault Kaeya for it, but... no, he can't accept the consolation being offered to him either. He shakes his head where it sits on Kaeya's shoulder.]
I compromised on my own values in favor of filling out that silly card. I never should have sunken to such lows.
[It didn't feel good using his body to punch off another square on his card, but Diluc couldn't have imagined the unusual feeling of loss that followed that encounter. He'd gone into that arrangement thinking he had little left to lose, but what do you know? Whoring yourself out for squares is pretty gutting after all.]
It won't be happening again. Unless it's with someone I care for, I don't intend to bed anyone in the name of fulfilling that goddess' whims.
[ He's relieved to hear that Diluc will stop - for multiple reasons. One of them is his simple desire to want the best for him. He doesn't want to see his brother selling out his body for mere bingo squares. Diluc deserves to sleep with someone whom he really cares about, whom he loves, so that's one reason. The other... well, maybe he can bring that up for another day. They should take things one step at a time and get back to becoming friends first. ]
[ He simply replies back with a soft 'mm', not wanting to say more out of concern of accidentally letting something slip. Instead, he decides to express his gratitude for this talk happening in the first place. If Diluc didn't take this step, perhaps they really would have stopped talking forever. ]
... I appreciate that you've come to talk to me. To be honest, I didn't think you'd ever want to reconcile.
[ He feared it, and when they had that fight in the forest, that only confirmed it. To have Diluc in the same room, days later, apologizing and wanting to patch things up - he never would have thought it'd happen. And for all the work that Diluc has put into this talk, opening himself up, the least that Kaeya can do is repay back the favour. ]
But I'm glad that you did. It'd be nice to have a brother again.
[Brozoned... Hm. He should be happy they've reached this point, shouldn't he? Diluc eases out of their hug and sits back, an odd, cold feeling nestling in the pit of his gut. There's more he'd wanted to say, but for now, he's said enough.]
...Indeed. Then will you be retuning to the house? [...Stares pointedly at Dogluc.] You can bring your pet back with you as well.
[ Dogluc looks up at Diluc before immediately turning its head away. Hmph!! Kaeya just smiles, unaware of Diluc's plight, and picks up Dogluc. The dog side-eyes Diluc after being set in Kaeya's lap. ]
I say you've convinced me to return, though that means that I'll have to submit my bingos now. I'm sure you don't want to continue sharing beds, even after we've made up.
[ He's pretty sure that he has a bingo line so they can finally get separate rooms. ]
[Dogluc is easily ignored, but Diluc isn't looking at Kaeya either, focusing his attention on adjusting his gloves when there's nowhere comfortable to rest his gaze. He'd rather leave, frankly, but leaving is what got them into this mess in the first place. Uncomfortable as he feels, he'll endure it.]
I suppose not.
[Wow. He'll never admit that sharing a bed with Kaeya wasn't the worst thing, but after spending a month cramped into a bed with the overwarm Diluc, he's sure Kaeya would prefer sleeping alone... with Dogluc.]
Your generosity won't go unrewarded. We have a business to set up, don't we?
[ Kaeya pets Dogluc as they talk, now relaxed as he no longer has to worry about having to forget about Diluc. His only concern now is to improve his friendship with the other man so he could possibly move to the next stage. ]
Would you set up a winery or tavern again? I'm afraid that I won't be very useful beyond product tasting.
[ He jokes, but that's probably exactly what will happen. ]
That's fine. I think you've earned a free sample or two.
[Kaeya's the one who's been spending his bingos on their home, after all. The least Diluc can do is invest his own in their future business... for as long as it will last, anyhow. He has no intention of remaining here once the year is through and he's sure Kaeya feels the same.]
Considering this town lacks both a winery and a proper bar, [no shade to the barkeep downstairs,] we'll need to set up a dual operation. With the Goddess' favor, it shouldn't be much work.
[ A sip or two? Please, they both know that he will be drinking far more than that. ]
I'll leave it up to you.
[ Soon after their conversation, Kaeya returns home with Dogluc. He's in good spirits for the rest of the day, which extends into the next morning. ]
[ He leaves early, departing as he typically does, but he returns early. He strolls back to the farm just after noon with a bouquet of lamp grass in one hand. Wherever Diluc is, he plans on trying to sneak up behind him. He doesn't plan on doing anything malicious! He just wants to see if he can and stand there long enough until Diluc notices. ]
[Diluc is rarely out in the field during the day, so Kaeya will happen upon him doing some prep work in the kitchen for tonight's dinner. He's been eating for one and doesn't put much effort into feeding himself, but now that Kaeya's home, he's begun to cook in earnest again.
He hears Kaeya approaching — how could he not — but he doesn't swivel around to face him. He's busy dicing veggies, and because he knows Kaeya, he also knows there's some reason he's sneaking up on him instead of announcing himself as he usually does.
He'll never, ever, ever admit that he finds Kaeya's antics amusing, but he'll indulge him, calling out over a shoulder.]
[ Kaeya smiles, sliding up next to Diluc. He holds the bouquet behind his back with one hand, keeping it low to the ground so there's less of a chance of Diluc being able to see it. ]
[ He gains the knife! He's glad that Diluc gives it to him rather than distrust him with it because he immediately brings out the flowers, setting them in Diluc's hand. ]
Have a break. I'll take it from here.
[ Kaeya knows that he doesn't do much around the house to help, but he can at least food prep! He's at least good for that! ]
[ He goes over to wash his hands in the sink before picking up where Diluc left off with the vegetables. He'll occasionally ask in between their conversation on what needs to be done so he can finish the food prep. ]
Besides, it's been a while since I was last home.
[ So he can be in a happy mood! Which includes being generous. ]
Well then, I'll try not to grow accustomed to you helping around the house.
[Seeing as this is a one-time thing, right? They'll go back to the status quo soon enough, which has Diluc feeling some sort of way, but it's fine. It doesn't matter. All that ought to matter is that Kaeya is home again, all their issues water under the bridge...
...Yet Diluc remains unsatisfied. Well, whatever. While Kaeya is in an amiable mood, Diluc is going to see just how far he can stretch it.]
[Hm. Kaeya really is being awfully compliant, isn't he? After finding a safe space to set down his bouquet, Diluc assists him in setting the table. As if he'd make Kaeya do everything on his own.]
Don't bother with small-talk.
[You know the rules, bro.]
Tell me what trouble you've gotten up to while you were away.
Always so quick to assume that I'm getting into trouble.
[ He shakes his head as if he's hurt, but he still has a smile on his face. He doesn't actually care since it's right, he's always getting into trouble. ]
I had a stroll around town with Trahearne, that's all. We chatted about so and so, all that small-talk chatter that you hate.
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[ Hesitant to start speaking of the past and testing the waters (how serious is Diluc about this talk?), he doesn't answer the question. ]
Does it matter? I still betrayed you and your trust.
[ And the end result was still the same - he still lost Diluc. ]
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I betrayed you too, Kaeya. I betrayed the trust you spent years building up in a single breath. What does it matter who drew first blood?
[And that's the reality of their situation: they've both hurt each other, but have they truly cut each other so deeply that their wounds are beyond healing? Diluc used to think so, but with a little help from the Power Of Friendship™, he's begun to think otherwise.]
...I was so afraid of losing everyone I loved that I gave into that fear and chose to leave first. I thought it wouldn't hurt as badly if I were the one leaving you behind, but all I've succeeded in doing is hurting us both. For that, I can't expect you to forgive me.
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[ His mouth is dry as he keeps his arms crossed. ]
... and? Where do you want to go with this?
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For so long, Diluc was that solid ground for Kaeya. They've changed, grown up and grown apart, but there remains enough between them that they can broach this conversation. Diluc won't fool himself into thinking it will end on a positive note, nor will it mend every bridge he's burned, but this conversation is all he has now. Kaeya is all he has, one of the few who remains with love in his heart for a wretch like himself.
His feet feel leaden when he peels himself away from the door and approaches Kaeya, forcing his arms loose and staring him down. He's tense, as is Kaeya, but Diluc pushes past his reservations to wrap Kaeya up tightly in his arms. If Kaeya pushes him away, he'll go. If he orders him to leave, he won't hesitate. But for the sake of doing his part to make amends, all Diluc can do is try, throwing everything he has into one final act of forgiveness and vulnerability.]
Home. There's no going back without you.
[Home is where the heart is, isn't it?]
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[ He doesn't know what sprung this sudden development for Diluc, but he's not complaining because it's everything that he's wanted since their separation. He didn't think he'd get it, especially not when their relationship dove off into the deep end weeks ago, but that moment is happening now. ]
[ It takes him a few seconds before he can snap out of his disbelief and to finally allow himself to lower his walls. Out of his own comfort, and to ensure that this moment is real, he holds back just as tightly. ]
... are you sure? I may not leave this time.
[ He didn't want to leave in the first place. ]
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...Then don't. I won't allow it.
[How ironic that he was always the one supporting Kaeya when he needed it. The opposite is true now, his knees threatening to give when relief finally hits him, taking Kaeya down with him to sit on the mattress' edge. This is selfish of him, he knows, but he isn't ready to let Kaeya go. Not yet. Until this wellspring of emotion in him has settled, he keeps Kaeya wrapped up tightly in his arms.]
I'd also like to apologize for the argument we had at the house. He Xuan means little to me, but what's why you were upset, right?
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[ He's content to stay like this for a bit longer, but ah, right, the argument at the house - the one that caused him to leave their temporary home in the first place. Since it happened, he's been thinking about it, how it occurred and how he acted. It's given him time to reflect and to also find that his actions were unreasonable. So, he shakes his head. Diluc's not the only one who should apologize for that argument. ]
I overreacted. You were right - you don't need permission from me to do anything.
[ ... and he pauses before adding this last part. ]
You can sleep with whoever you want to.
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I compromised on my own values in favor of filling out that silly card. I never should have sunken to such lows.
[It didn't feel good using his body to punch off another square on his card, but Diluc couldn't have imagined the unusual feeling of loss that followed that encounter. He'd gone into that arrangement thinking he had little left to lose, but what do you know? Whoring yourself out for squares is pretty gutting after all.]
It won't be happening again. Unless it's with someone I care for, I don't intend to bed anyone in the name of fulfilling that goddess' whims.
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[ He simply replies back with a soft 'mm', not wanting to say more out of concern of accidentally letting something slip. Instead, he decides to express his gratitude for this talk happening in the first place. If Diluc didn't take this step, perhaps they really would have stopped talking forever. ]
... I appreciate that you've come to talk to me. To be honest, I didn't think you'd ever want to reconcile.
[ He feared it, and when they had that fight in the forest, that only confirmed it. To have Diluc in the same room, days later, apologizing and wanting to patch things up - he never would have thought it'd happen. And for all the work that Diluc has put into this talk, opening himself up, the least that Kaeya can do is repay back the favour. ]
But I'm glad that you did. It'd be nice to have a brother again.
[ haha brozoned ]
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...Indeed. Then will you be retuning to the house? [...Stares pointedly at Dogluc.] You can bring your pet back with you as well.
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I say you've convinced me to return, though that means that I'll have to submit my bingos now. I'm sure you don't want to continue sharing beds, even after we've made up.
[ He's pretty sure that he has a bingo line so they can finally get separate rooms. ]
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I suppose not.
[Wow. He'll never admit that sharing a bed with Kaeya wasn't the worst thing, but after spending a month cramped into a bed with the overwarm Diluc, he's sure Kaeya would prefer sleeping alone... with Dogluc.]
Your generosity won't go unrewarded. We have a business to set up, don't we?
[For once, Diluc will let Kaeya run up a tab.]
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Would you set up a winery or tavern again? I'm afraid that I won't be very useful beyond product tasting.
[ He jokes, but that's probably exactly what will happen. ]
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[Kaeya's the one who's been spending his bingos on their home, after all. The least Diluc can do is invest his own in their future business... for as long as it will last, anyhow. He has no intention of remaining here once the year is through and he's sure Kaeya feels the same.]
Considering this town lacks both a winery and a proper bar, [no shade to the barkeep downstairs,] we'll need to set up a dual operation. With the Goddess' favor, it shouldn't be much work.
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I'll leave it up to you.
[ Soon after their conversation, Kaeya returns home with Dogluc. He's in good spirits for the rest of the day, which extends into the next morning. ]
[ He leaves early, departing as he typically does, but he returns early. He strolls back to the farm just after noon with a bouquet of lamp grass in one hand. Wherever Diluc is, he plans on trying to sneak up behind him. He doesn't plan on doing anything malicious! He just wants to see if he can and stand there long enough until Diluc notices. ]
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He hears Kaeya approaching — how could he not — but he doesn't swivel around to face him. He's busy dicing veggies, and because he knows Kaeya, he also knows there's some reason he's sneaking up on him instead of announcing himself as he usually does.
He'll never, ever, ever admit that he finds Kaeya's antics amusing, but he'll indulge him, calling out over a shoulder.]
Can I help you?
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[ Kaeya smiles, sliding up next to Diluc. He holds the bouquet behind his back with one hand, keeping it low to the ground so there's less of a chance of Diluc being able to see it. ]
Trade?
[ He holds out his free hand for the knife. ]
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I'd rather know what kind of exchange we're making, but suit yourself.
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Have a break. I'll take it from here.
[ Kaeya knows that he doesn't do much around the house to help, but he can at least food prep! He's at least good for that! ]
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Floundering for a moment, Diluc takes the bouquet. Ah... He really doesn't know what to make of this, but—]
...Thank you. I see you're in a generous mood today.
[Why is that?]
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[ He goes over to wash his hands in the sink before picking up where Diluc left off with the vegetables. He'll occasionally ask in between their conversation on what needs to be done so he can finish the food prep. ]
Besides, it's been a while since I was last home.
[ So he can be in a happy mood! Which includes being generous. ]
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[Seeing as this is a one-time thing, right? They'll go back to the status quo soon enough, which has Diluc feeling some sort of way, but it's fine. It doesn't matter. All that ought to matter is that Kaeya is home again, all their issues water under the bridge...
...Yet Diluc remains unsatisfied. Well, whatever. While Kaeya is in an amiable mood, Diluc is going to see just how far he can stretch it.]
Set the table when you're done, please.
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[ It's not that much work to set the table, psh, he's not that useless. He'll make quick work of the kitchen stuff so he can work on the table next. ]
So, how has your day fared?
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Don't bother with small-talk.
[You know the rules, bro.]
Tell me what trouble you've gotten up to while you were away.
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[ He shakes his head as if he's hurt, but he still has a smile on his face. He doesn't actually care since it's right, he's always getting into trouble. ]
I had a stroll around town with Trahearne, that's all. We chatted about so and so, all that small-talk chatter that you hate.
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