CATCHALL ⬦ 欲买桂花同载酒

[lapidation]

WHO: Zhongli and anyone!
WHAT: my catchall...
WHEN: forever
WHERE: this island imagine if he goes to sea and drowns
WARNINGS: will add when anything comes up; ALCOHOL
ETC: feel free to plot with me! my bingo is here and you can reach me via discord (hei#2323) or plurk (aftertaste).

Comments

[tot]

[ luffy, the actual character, would love jerky and probably take it zhongli's whole hand with the treats. before promptly forgetting what the whole point of this fight was. ...if there was even one to be had. however, this is luffy the dog who is not so easily swayed and will just keep barking at him while ignoring the treats before nipping at the coat.

so, you know, this is how it's going to be. sorry grandpa; you're just going to be caught out in an awkward position. at least dog!luffy isn't out to ruin zhongli's coat. he's just there to be a nuisance and to distract him long enough for uta to get close enough.

and uta will undoubtedly "shoot" at zhongli with the water gun as soon as she is able to get into a decent range. it's nothing merciless, but she will definitely try to get a few good shots in on him while she has the advantage. ]

Good boy, Luffy!

[ a bark in response as dog!luffy will now leave zhongli alone. mostly. no more nipping at his coat, at the very least. ]

[lapidation]

[ You just saying this dog is smarter than actual Luffy which I think is fair from what I remember about One Piece. Anyway, Zhongli gets shot with the water, anticlimactically he looks down to his "wound" before lifting his gaze to acknowledge his murderer. ]

You've trained your dog well with the short amount of time.

[ He gently unwrinkles his coat, but doesn't put it back on. It hangs off of his forearm. ]

I would have been in more trouble if you taught him how to shoot a water gun.

[ Still with a watergun in his hand, he shoots Uta. ]

[tot]

[ as the kind of one piece fan that i am, yes, this is exactly what i'm saying, and i can't believe uta "killed" a man without a single shred of remorse for her actions. not that any kind of feelings of victory are lived for very long as she gets shot again.

she doesn't move out of the way and just takes it like a champ with a yelp causing dog!luffy to bark a few times at zhongli. again, it's just barking and nothing that would imply that he would attack. it takes her a moment before she says anything. ]

I can't take any credit for training him. [ slowly raising her water gun. ] When I found him wandering around my farm, he was instantly attached to me.

[ then just as casually, but swiftly, shoots zhongli. preferably in the face if she can. ]

The only thing I trained him on was teaching his name—if that counts.

[ are they even having a water gun fight at this point or just shooting one another? ]

[lapidation]

[ No, they're definitely just shooting each other now. Zhongli gives Luffy a reassuring look since he knows dogs can only infer intent and emotions, but when he turns to Uta he just gets blasted in the face.

There is a long pause as the water droplets trickle down his face, weighing down his bangs flat. He supposes he deserves this. ]

A good boy, nevertheless. [ Anyway, ] Hopefully, this detour hasn't distracted you from important matters, Uta. I thought to pay your beach farm a visit.

[ And... gun... ]

[tot]

[ uta won't even try to hide her laugh when zhongli just silently takes being shot in the face without any immediate retaliation and waits for him to say anything. he definitely deserves this as much as she will deserve in the future. ...whatever that will end up being. ]

A very good boy!

[ a bark from dog!luffy as he wags his tail and looks up at uta. ]

But not at all. What's more important than meeting with friends and meeting with guests?