🌸 be not defeated by the rain 🌸

[passthrough]

🌸WHO: Otegine and many others
🌸WHAT: Closed prompts for hurricane + cleanup, open threads for bonus AC effects
🌸WHEN: Summer 16 - Summer End
🌸WHERE: Various
🌸WARNINGS: mild NSFW conversation

Called useless by all
Neither praised
Nor a bother
Such is the person
I wish to be
Hit up plotting or my contacts if you would like a closed starter!

Comments

[passthrough]

[His jaw tightens immediately.

...]

Yeah. I'll be fine.

Not really a fan of being humiliated in front of the town or anything, but he can think whatever he wants about it.

[chronosynthesis]

Still, I'm sorry your experience was in poor taste. That's not a great way to experience any intimacy.

[There should be flattery! Romance! At least a little bit of liking each other?]

[passthrough]

[Intimacy...?

...]

He should have asked.

I know he's got something to prove, but I don't know what he was thinking there.

Besides. Being intimate with something like me isn't something I think he wants, anyway. Not if he's going to treat it like a joke.

[chronosynthesis]

[Syrlya raises a brow at "something".] I wasn't really concerned with what he wants, anyway.

[passthrough]

[A negative perk of knowing the lore: someone now has far less qualms with objectifying himself openly in conversation. Sorry, Syr. Old habits and all that.]

...I don't know.

I don't know what I want. Not outside of being useful.

It's not something I ever have to think about back home, Syr.

[chronosynthesis]

Well, identifying things you don't like helps narrow down to the things you do. [He folds his arms, leaning back against the counter.] That's one path to finding out what you want.

[Not that Syrlya has been making an active effort himself, he's just tripping into revelations as he goes.]

[passthrough]

[Gee they sure are both great at this.

He grumbles a little as he swipes up one of the apples left over and picks at the stem with one hand.]

I don't want to be treated like I'm a fool.

Even if all I am is tsukumogami, I... I still deserve some sort of respect. And if someone can't even bother with that much...

...

Tools fall apart without being cherished, just like what we found in our shed. [Is he still mad about their original rusted farm equipment? YOU BET.] Why would I ever feel safe around someone that doesn't care?

[chronosynthesis]

[Syrlya smiles genuinely at that. And reaches to give Otegine a quick pat of his arm.] I agree. You do deserve to be cherished. And now you know that's something you want.

[passthrough]

Mn.

It's not like I haven't ever felt it before. It's just... different? When it's not a master or their family, I mean. And people kind of get a little, uh, weird when I mention what I'm used to.

[Like the whole parade and being locked up thing and being used thing.]

It's not really a good idea for me to correct people about it too much, though, so... they can think I'm weird, I guess.

[chronosynthesis]

Well, that might be because you lead on with being locked in a room and not that your original form is that of a weapon. [Though he thinks even as a weapon, Otegine could do with a bit more self-esteem.] On the other hand, you do have a heart now and those experiences are much more complicated.

[passthrough]

Maybe. But that's not something I can mention.

[It's not that he doesn't want to, or that it's hard. He can't.]

There's a lot of people here where it's... safer, if they don't get it. I don't like making up anything -- if I can help it, I wouldn't even give my name to anybody.

That's not really an option here. But I have to drawn the line somewhere. It kind of goes beyond me.

[chronosynthesis]

Safer? [He raises a brow.] I'm afraid you've lost me there. What is it about who--what you are that you need to hide?

[passthrough]

It's... complicated.

[And at how thin his voice suddenly sounds, this is getting into territory he's not even sure he SHOULD talk about, even with someone like Syr who he trusts won't just spread it around.]

Some people here might recognize me. A couple already have, though... not me, thankfully, not how I am now. They're just shrugging it off as chance. But knowing what I am...

It... might not seem like a lot, but it can cause a lot of problems if I'm not careful. A lot of really, really bad problems.

[chronosynthesis]

I... see. [He doesn't see at all, actually.] Then I suppose someone you can trust with all of that is, also, something you would want in your prospective relationship?

[passthrough]

[The first rule of the time government is: don't talk about the time government.]

...Maybe.

If that were the case, then it's not happening here. [It's remarkably blunt for him, but he sounds serious.] Maybe that's why I don't really think about things like this. I told the goddess upfront that this is kind of an impossible situation for me, anyway, but... well, you know. She thinks differently.

[chronosynthesis]

[Syrlya hums at that.] ... I can't say it hasn't also been on my mind, that I'll need to find some other way to convince her to let me return to Tyria sooner rather than later. It's already been six weeks. Too long and people will start to worry.

[passthrough]

Time can't be moving the same way, though, can it? I mean, cherry blossoms happen in early spring, and we're already in the dead of summer only a month later. The crops are just growing way too fast, too...

Not that it matters for me whether we're moving, but... I guess you're gonna have a lot of people missing your presence back home, huh.

[chronosynthesis]

[Syrlya doesn't know what the cherry blossoms have to do with anything...] The goddess has clearly been interfering with our crops. But the hours have not felt any different, have day? At least, six weeks here feels similarly as long as it would in Tyria.

[That's a little beside the point, though.] I didn't exactly leave a note. So, yes, my absence must be worrying them. I can't let it go on too long.