crescentview | 🌸FALL CATCHALL🌸

Just your time for now. Please.

[He'll let the request settle in the silence, insistent, before stepping up to join Trahearne, letting his elbows lean against the deck railing with a deep inhale of the salty air of the sea.]

Have you ever been out to the ocean like this?

In a way.

[ Trahearne idly observes Otegine for a moment before turning his attention back over the water. ]

I often traveled by ship--I had business in an island just off the mainland, and the safest and quickest way there was by ship. [ His hand comes to rest on the railing; he's still surprised by how it's coated in smooth lacquer. He doesn't have to worry about splinters here. ] The rocking of the ship over the waves was often accompanied by a stir of unease inside of me; that instinctive sensation is at odds with the knowledge we will be safely returning to harbour at the end of the day.

[ His mouth twists into a wry smile. ]

How about you?

[He shakes his head.]

Our country is an island, so I've seen the ocean often. But history never had need for us out at sea, I guess. [To be taken out to sea after the borders closed meant you were destined to rot at the bottom of the ocean... he knows quite a few that would have unease for the sea just like he does for the flames that haunt his dreams.]

To be out with nothing but water is a little... daunting. As if I think about too hard, I might wonder if solid ground will ever come back. Like looking off a cliffside and not being able to see the bottom.

[It's weird! He doesn't know how to feel about it all.]

Maybe I just wasn't built for boats.

[ Trahearne glances at Otegine as he speaks, quietly letting his words settle in his mind. He places it alongside the tidbits he already knows of him, letting it form a bigger picture of who Otegine is. History never had a need for us out at sea is such curious wording. An island nation that did not need a navy? Hmm. ]

I don't think many of us were.

[ Not to belittle Otegine's sentiment, but to offer sympathy. ]

But I understand. The vastness of the open ocean makes one feel infinitely small, in a way that gazing at the stars does not. [ Likely because there is no risk of the night sky suddenly coming down and consuming everything.

He watches the sunset for a moment, then turns to Otegine. There is faint worry for him in his eyes. ]

I hope that hasn't detracted too much from your time today.

Eh?

[Detracted... oh. Was Trahearne worried he wasn't enjoying himself?]

No, not at all! It's... heh, it's kind of nice, actually. It's something I don't know if we'd ever get a chance to do back home unless we got lucky. Really, I'm more than glad I get to experience it with good company by my side.

[...

His fingers lace together over the railing with a firm exhale.]

That said, I feel I owe you an apology, sir.

Edited 2023-02-03 16:01 (UTC)

[ Ah, that's good. Trahearne eases a bit when Otegine reassures him; sometimes, he wasn't sure how deep another's idle worries and comments went. He offers a little nod, a tiny smile, then begins to turn his head away--

--when Otegine surprises him again. ]

You do? [ A frown. ] I don't think you've done anything that warrants an apology.

You... uh...

You opened up a lot of your feelings after what happened at the auction, right? I don't want to treat that lightly. But I know this whole situation's put you in an awkward position.

[Understanding emotions has never been a strong suit for him, and he wasn't sure how else to help. But he can't shake that he might have caused more of a problem here than not.]

So... if I've made you feel obligated or anything, by being here without your own say... then I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken that sort of choice from you. Especially not after what you've told me.

[ Ah, about that.

Trahearne's unease and disappointment in himself had eased these past few days; the cruise, it turned out, had been a good distraction. As refreshing as it has been, he can't lose sight of his goal. ]

Not at all. There's no need to apologise.

I have enjoyed my time on the ship, and I have enjoyed spending time with and getting to know both you and Pyra. Though I'd hardly count our time spent here as romantic, I still value it nonetheless.

[ There's a little pause. ]

To be honest, I was not expecting this whole ordeal to be so...serious. Considering our previous town events were not.

[There'a a visible ease to the Touken's shoulders as he nods his understanding, one hand rubbing absent-mindedly at his neck as he lets the pieces of the auction play back through his memory.]

I don't know if it was intended to be. Things just spiraled out of control pretty fast on a few different avenues. I don't know if anyone could have guessed that much.

The goddess is pretty insistent we get married to someone by the end of all this, though. Who knows what will happen if she gets impatient. Maybe she will want us to be more serious.

Though... [And his voice drops to a mutter.] I wish she'd get the message that some of us just can't commit to that.

Edited 2023-02-04 06:53 (UTC)

[ There's a part of him that wonders if this cruise is meant to show that things are about to be more serious--though Trahearne had always only ever had sights set on one person, his own doubts and questions had held him back. And that led him to what felt like aimless wandering. But what has happened in the past few days has been enough for him to start taking this seriously, and that his attitude about this had been wrong.

And so he nods at that.

What Otegine says last, however, sets off those quiet alarm bells again. He looks over at him with a concerned frown. ]

Why do you say that, Otegine?

[...]

What do they call it now... a "conflict of interests", I guess?

[There's more he wants to say, but he bites his tongue. No, he knows better. He can be smarter about this.]

Remembering what might be waiting at home makes it hard to make promises. Responsibilities, and just... how things have to be...

War doesn't leave room for much else. That's why those who can fight, do. So others can make those memories and chart history, even if we can't promise to join them.

[Trahearne's a soldier, isn't he? Surely he can understand that much, even if Otegine's coming at it from a perspective far different than a regular footman.]

That's all I meant.

[ Right.

Trahearne's head and gaze snap slightly out towards the sunset again, as though trying to ignore his own questions regarding the matter. That's how his entire life has been thus far, and why he had been perfectly content to set aside the frivolous thought of romance. But now? Given another life and another chance? If he's doomed to return to the exact moment whence he came, then is it even fair to him or any other at this point?

He idly wonders if he'd been better off left to oblivion in that case. ]

I see.

[ His voice is quiet in understanding, because this sounds so familiar. Even if it does not quite apply to him one hundred percent. ]

Even if given the opportunity to travel with another to their world, [ He doesn't know how it works for those who come from different realities. ] would you find it hard to abandon your duties at home?

[ Even Trahearne, at the end of the day, would still want to go back. Even if he isn't needed anymore. ]

[...]

Yeah. To be honest, I don't even know if it's possible. I... probably shouldn't dwell on if it's possible, really.

[A tsukumogami set loose from its confines, without a master to keep its new body whole, without a check on its emotions, without a purpose to keep it grounded... he wonders if he'd become nothing more than a ghost of what he is now, if that.]

Our citadel gets used to passing through others lives like this. So it's not exactly a new situation. All we can really do is do our job, and help where we can. [Things like staying behind, falling in love... not so much.]

...

Uh. Actually, speaking of that, though... [He starts rummaging through the pockets of his jacket, eventually producing a small leather pouch.] If you don't mind, sir... I have something for you.

Edited 2023-02-06 16:26 (UTC)

[ In the pause, Trahearne studies Otegine, a hint of sympathy in his eyes. Though he isn't exactly sure of the particulars...it sounds like a lonely existence, one marked by a singular purpose. To wait for orders and enact war--surely, he thinks, Otegine deserves better than this.

His thoughts are so concentrated on Otegine, though, that he's a bit surprised when the other turns the conversation to him. To a gift. For him?

Trahearne's head tilts, brows knitting lightly in his puzzlement. ]

You do?

[He nods and holds the pouch out.]

Just something that I thought could be useful to you. You could think of it as cultural exchanges, too, I guess.

Please.

Edited 2023-02-06 17:10 (UTC)

Oh.

[ Trahearne eyes it curiously, then gingerly takes it in his hand. He looks at it, turning it over in his palm. It certainly is...unique. He's never seen anything like it before. ]

What is it?

[ cultural exchange indeed ]

[It's definitely not a pretty item! The clumsy etchings of kanji into the leather have been done by hand, a circular crest one one side with a crossed shape through the center. The knot of the straps decorating the top is a little messy, but rather secure.]

It's called omamori. It's a charm meant to give luck, protection and good fortune. This one is for shiawase - a blessing from the gods for someone's happiness.

[A pause, and his smile quirks.]

Just don't open it. Normally at home, they're filled with a prayer and blessed by the gods or their priests. Opening it breaks the blessing. Our master will send them with us to help protect us in battle-- [Not commander. Master.] -- but since we don't have him around...

[He shrugs, slipping his hands into his pockets.]

It's kind of out of my power, so I can't promise it's anything more than a charm like this. But I figured you deserved to have something out there looking out for you.

[Would a spirit as minor as him be able to do anything at all? He's not sure. But maybe, at least... it could keep them from losing heart.]

[ For happiness.

Trahearne stares at the little charm in his hand, and its purpose, its function weighs on him in a strange way. It takes a bit longer for it all to register in his mind, admittedly, to put it all together. His fingers curl lightly around it, a subconscious sign of acceptance of the gift.

He had no idea Syrlya's housemate was thinking of him like this. He feels a little lump in his throat. ]

Otegine, this is...so thoughtful of you. And incredibly kind. [ Allowing himself to tell himself that he does deserve normal happiness, that he can selfishly work towards gaining some for himself instead of working towards others' constantly, has been a battle. One he's waged quietly with himself, with some helpful words from others, and it really starts to put into perspective what he thinks is deserved and what isn't. Perhaps Otegine doesn't realize how much this means to him. ]

Thank you.

[ When he looks up, there's a whole mix of emotions on his face. ]

I did not know you were a god of sorts. Even if your powers are not as effective here, the gesture is still appreciated nonetheless.

Ah... nah, you're giving me too much credit, Trahearne. I'm pretty minor in the bigger scheme of things.

Tsukumogami don't get power or authority like regular kami. Not all of us are sacred, either. We're more... artifact spirits.

[His head cocks a bit to the side, looking out towards the ocean.]

It's my job to protect the living. So, you know... even if I don't have much power the way I am, or don't always understand what I can do like this for any of you... at least I can stick to what I know.

[ Too much credit? Otegine is a literal spirit with blessing powers and Trahearne is giving him too much credit? A wry smile slowly crosses his face as Otegine speaks, and he grips the omamori as his hand drops. ]

I am no spirit, I have no supernatural powers to bless others or anything of the sort. I believe I am giving you the right amount of credit, Otegine. Please, I would wish that you would pay yourself the same kindness.

[ Trahearne is always the first to humble himself, but he'll readily admit that he knows more about Orr than anyone else on Tyria, or that he has sway with the Pale Tree that some of his other siblings might not have. It's a bit bewildering to know someone who is constantly humbling himself.

He takes a step towards Otegine before he looks over at the sunset as well. ]

But you are an artifact spirit. I sort of understand now. [ And back to Otegine his gaze goes. ] Thank you for telling me. I'm glad to know more about you.

N-no, no, I mean it... I'm just a spear, sir, I can't really bless anything like an actual god, so... uh... it's why I hope what little I can do is still something serviceable for you. For Syrlya, too.

[He doesn't want Traheaene leaving with a nice lie over a misunderstanding of Otegine's own phrasing. A verbal blessing, a written blessing and an actual defied blessing were all such different things...

...

]

You're welcome.

I... ask that you keep it between us. Only a couple people know right now, including Syrlya, but... please believe me when I say it's for the better that way.

Syr's said you have magic back where you're from. But he's never really talked about gods

[ "Just a spear"?

...

Ah. All the talk they've had about war and usefulness finally make sense--it all falls into place. If Otegine is a spear spirit, then of course he would be concerned about finding purpose outside of battle. And that he might not consider himself suitable for farming or romance. Trahearne's eyes settle on Otegine, and they narrow slightly as he studies him. Perhaps he is a spear, yes, but all he sees before him is a perfectly human-looking person. It's...hard to think past that. Perhaps that's his own shortcoming. ]

You have my word. [ He dips his head in a bow, a show of his promise and the genuine intent behind it. That might alarm Otegine, but Trahearne's Tyrian ass doesn't know that. ] This knowledge is safe with me.

[ Ah, the gods. A little smile crosses Trahearne's face before he looks out over the ocean. Tangentially an area of expertise for him. ]

There are gods on Tyria, yes. In the strictest sense of the word, The Six are beings that only the humans worship. Other races look to different all-powerful beings for guidance--the norn, for example, have the Spirits of the Wild. [ A pause in thought. ] Which do you mean?

[Trahearne bows, and Otegine lowers his head in polite return. It's not often someone shows this sort of respect, and it does leave an awkward taste in the mouth when he does still consider this Sylvari in front of him a commander ]

I'll hold you to that. Thank you.

[Trahearne dives into a topic of intelligence, and Otegine is left to chuckle as he tries to keep up.]

Ah, I didn't have any specific kind in mind, really. We have thousands in my country alone.

I guess... which do you know the best?

Thousands?

[ The parroting comes unwittingly. Trahearne can't imagine what it must be like to have thousands of gods to whom one must offer worship. He often figures humans have trouble keeping up with six. Thousands?

Slowly, he begins to tap his finger against the railing as he thinks. Otegine's lack of specification has made this a difficult question to answer for his scholar's mind. And considering the perspectives among races as to what counts as a "worshippable" entity doubtlessly varies; while he would never consider the Pale Tree a deity, there were likely some non-sylvari out there who did. That's silly. She's their mother. ]

A significant part of my studies included the human gods. [ Trahearne's ultimate answer is measured as he chooses his words carefully. ] You may remember this as I spoke of it on stage at the goddess's contest, but before the Kingdom of Orr fell and succumbed to corruption, it was said to be home to the Six.

[ He glances at Otegine again. ] My knowledge of the human gods is purely academic and historical. Worship on Tyria is diverse and complicated, and I'm afraid I won't have every answer.

[ Best make it clear where his limits lie before Otegine keeps asking questions--he's not sure if this is leading somewhere. ]

Mn. Some are major with followers across the entire world, and some, like me, are very minor. I had plenty of care as an artifact, but I'm not one of the ones important enough to be worshipped.

[He won't go into why. It can be left for another time.

He patiently lets Trahearne consider his options, a chuckle from his lips with the Sylvari's warning.]

It's fine, Trahearne. I'm not here to judge. That's for way more important deities out there.

I'd just like to know more about what you know. As a friend.

Edited (Hello?? Wally??? Anyway I fixed it) 2023-02-11 03:22 (UTC)

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