lucia lee (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
irresponsibly) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crescentview2023-02-20 05:34 am
irresponsibly) wrote in crescentview2023-02-20 05:34 am
karaoke party!
Who: Lucia and you!
What: Karaoke Party Time
When: Fall 20
Where: Cozy Kitchen
Warnings: n/a for now
[ On Fall 15th, a notice goes up on the noticeboard advertising a karaoke party at Cozy Kitchen on Fall 20th. It may be easy to miss with all of the pirate chaos, but Lucia will put a sign at the front of the restaurant to remind her fellow farmers of the event.
When Fall 20th rolls around, the smell of Lucia's food can be smelled from outside in town square. One may also catch another redhead bringing alcohol from his winery into the restaurant, or people from the other neighboring bar moving equipment into Cozy Kitchen. When everything's said and done, the restaurant is left with a nice evening setup. It's a small-ish space but there is plenty of food and alcohol for people to indulge in, as well as non-alcoholic drinks like tea and water. The karaoke machine is set up, and there are board games from the store that people can play while they're here.
People are free to sing, open mic style, as many times as they'd like. At some point during the party, however, Lucia will make it a point to play some slower songs on the machine and cite that it's been a while since the dance in Spring. Now might be a good chance to get one last dance in with someone before Winter hits! Finally, party games will be inevitable, so go ahead and participate or run your own. ]
What: Karaoke Party Time
When: Fall 20
Where: Cozy Kitchen
Warnings: n/a for now
[ On Fall 15th, a notice goes up on the noticeboard advertising a karaoke party at Cozy Kitchen on Fall 20th. It may be easy to miss with all of the pirate chaos, but Lucia will put a sign at the front of the restaurant to remind her fellow farmers of the event.
When Fall 20th rolls around, the smell of Lucia's food can be smelled from outside in town square. One may also catch another redhead bringing alcohol from his winery into the restaurant, or people from the other neighboring bar moving equipment into Cozy Kitchen. When everything's said and done, the restaurant is left with a nice evening setup. It's a small-ish space but there is plenty of food and alcohol for people to indulge in, as well as non-alcoholic drinks like tea and water. The karaoke machine is set up, and there are board games from the store that people can play while they're here.
People are free to sing, open mic style, as many times as they'd like. At some point during the party, however, Lucia will make it a point to play some slower songs on the machine and cite that it's been a while since the dance in Spring. Now might be a good chance to get one last dance in with someone before Winter hits! Finally, party games will be inevitable, so go ahead and participate or run your own. ]
no subject
no subject
[ He straightens to his full-ass height, tilts his head up more. ]
...to kiss me.
[ teehee!
He immediately turns, glancing over his shoulder. If Syrlya approaches, he'll take that many steps away. catch me!!! ]
no subject
There's a moment he wonders how many shots Trahearne has had, before deciding he's going to cheat. Once Trahearne stops again, he teleports right in front of him and leans to kiss his cheek.]
no subject
Trahearne jumps when Syrlya suddenly appears before him, and graciously takes the kiss. A hand comes to settle on his waist. ]
Well done.
no subject
Truth or dare?
no subject
Truth.
[ There is nothing he would hide from u bb ]
no subject
[He's not questioning if there is desire. He felt that pang okay.]
no subject
And he's not intent on hiding much from Syrlya, really. He was, in a way, prepared for this when he answered "truth." He hums, neutral, as he hooks both hands around Syrlya's waist, holding him close.
His eyes dart up towards the ceiling in thought. ]
There were...things he said and did when we slept together that have...stuck with me. [ A very generous way of putting it. ] I find myself occasionally reminded of those things when in his presence.
[ He looks back down to Syrlya, a little smile on his face. ] That is all. I'm sure it will fade with time.
no subject
... I'm not upset about it. [He wants to be sure that's clear.] I just would like to know your honest heart, and that includes the other people that have touched it. Er, not that I need to know every intimate experience you have, just... you also do not need to hide it.
Whatever is comfortable for you and Mishka, I think you should have that. He has been there for you, hasn't he?
no subject
[ He's used to keeping all of that to himself. Remember his random admissions of anxiety? Those, he thinks, have fallen to the wayside due to their friendship. ]
But I don't want anything more than friendship from him. That is honestly and genuinely what I feel.
[ He honestly does not want to focus on anyone but Syrlya. And he knows Mishka should be concentrating on Adelis.
...
And speaking of, Trahearne's expression drops a little bit. ]
I wish you'd shared your honest heart with me.
no subject
But then what Trahearne cuts in with makes him stop.] Uh--what do you mean?
no subject
[ He respects the privacy of the matter, keeping his voice quiet so that those around them can't hear. ]
I understand what you need to do, and I admire your dedication to him. [ Isn't that what he's always loved about him? His dedication?
His expression twists further--conflicted because he had trusted and accepted Syrlya's admissions when he came to visit him about it not long ago, but he is ultimately an emotional being, and can't shake the quiet upset that took root when he saw the line. ]
But I just want to know from you, honestly--it isn't a...pretence for something else, is it?
[ He's seen the green line. ]
no subject
Why... would you think it was a pretense? [He thinks he knows why, and it makes him want to grab that magnifying glass from Mishka and shove it down his throat.
It hurts, to be reminded Trahearne does not fully trust him. Even now.] Why would I lie about that?
no subject
But I saw the line. And I could not help but wonder--
[ Nope. He stops himself there. ]
I'm sorry. [ He feels the hurt, and it hurts him in turn. ] I should never have doubted you.
no subject
It isn't requited. They should have been known to no one.
[But they were, and Trahearne doubted him again. Like those nightmares, Syrlya hasn't been enough to earn his trust.] Not even Adelis. I only want to help him.
no subject
His hands shift, unlinking from one another to slowly glide up and around Syrlya's back, pulling him into a gentle hug. He presses his nose, mouth to the top of his head and breathes, inhaling faint lavender. ]
I know.
[ The guilt pricks at him. He shouldn't have doubted, he shouldn't have brought it up. Syrlya clearly isn't happy about this; why did he ever think it a good idea to accuse him of emotional infidelity? ]
I'm sorry.
[ It's funny, because there will always be a small part of Trahearne that thinks he will never be good enough for Syrlya. ]
no subject
Syrlya doesn't know what to do with the embrace. The apology (always apologies), is it for his feelings or Trahearne's accusation?
He sinks against him, head turned aside. But his arms are heavy, and he does not try to lift him.
He thinks, again, of the hope Mishka tried to inspire in him not long ago.
...
His fingers absently twist around the bracelet on his wrist.]
Does it upset you, that I have affections for another?
[Syrlya did ask for his honest heart.]
no subject
What upsets him is the terrible pang of hopelessness he felt when he saw them together at van Zieks's town meeting--but that's on him. What upsets him is that Syrlya came to him and told him that it was not romantic, yet he feels the seed of doubt take hold as he wonders if he does it because Syrlya wants to kiss Adelis--but that's on him. These are Trahearne's problems, anxieties that will gnaw away at him in moments he thinks he is at peace.
He will always apologize because he will always inadvertently hurt Syrlya, like now. He will always apologize because he recognizes he will never be good enough, like now. He will always apologize because he knows he can never be perfect, like now.
But the affection itself? If Adelis did not need to be fed in that manner, would it bother him?
Probably not.
Who is he to speak, anyway? With his fading affections for Kaeya--something he came to accept and let go a long, long ago--and intense lust for Mishka, he would only be a hypocrite.
He has no control over how Syrlya feels, and he shouldn't. Syrlya is free to feel however he likes with regards to any another person. Trahearne can't stop him. All he can do is accept and love who he is, feelings directed towards others and all.
That will be a learning curve, he thinks, knowing he kisses another. ]
No.
[ When his answer comes, it is decisive. No hesitation, or stuttering. He feels embarrassed for having thought about this for so long, because he thinks it should be a no-brainer. ]
You should feel things as they come to you, naturally. [ He says this to comfort Syrlya more than himself. ] It is my job to accept you as you are, unconditionally.
[ That, is something he says to himself. ]
no subject
Trahearne thinks, for a long time, as he always does. Syrlya wonders if he can count out all the thoughts that cross Trahearne's mind that he won't actually reveal after all.
He peels back, just enough out of the hold to look up at Trahearne.] Does it upset you I have affections for Adelis?
no subject
Adelis? Not particularly. I don't know him well, but I have nothing against him personally. All I can say is that he must be a good person if you two are close.
[ That is true, evident by the measured calm among the guilt and the distress.
He wishes he could take it back. If only the goddess had never chosen him to-- ]
I was...shocked. That's all. I realise now that I had no reason to be. This is all fresh and new and I--I don't know what I'm doing. I should not have brought it up. It is not my business.
[ His eyes drop. He wants to apologize again, but he knows that won't fix anything. ]
no subject
Is it wrong, no matter his intentions, if he likes it?
...
He can see Trahearne pulling inward. It's the opposite of what he wants, even if what Trahearne really has to say will hurt.
But Trahearne won't tell him. Syrlya has to claw answers out of half-responses and feelings he won't verbalize. He was hurt enough, did not trust Syrlya enough, to actually ask. But he won't follow through with it, and Syrlya...
Syrlya's gaze hits the floor.] ... Mm.
[He feels a bit numb, as the unpleasant realizations settle in.]
I--I think I may turn in early. I'm very tired, but you could continue to enjoy the gathering.
no subject
[ That answer comes with conviction. His grip tightens a little on his clothes, as though trying to get him to look up again.
He feels terrible, like he's ruined what was supposed to be a nice outing. All he ever does is ruin things for them, it seems like. He's trying to figure out how to navigate this, but every pang of hurt he feels from Syrlya throws him off, and that's all he ever seems capable of doing. He wishes he knew what to say to get him to open up once he shuts down like this. He wishes Syrlya would tell him what he wants. ]
If you're leaving, then let me walk you home.
[ Even if it is in silence. ]
I insist.
no subject
But it will probably be in silence.]
maybe a multiparter? maybe a multiparter
They walk in silence for a while to begin with, but it doesn't...feel good. Trahearne feels like he messed up. He feels like maybe he didn't explain himself well enough. That his feelings didn't come out of nowhere, that he doesn't arbitrarily not trust Syrlya. They have been through so much together, but romance and feelings are...new for him.
At some point in their walk, Traherane begins to speak quietly. ]
When we went on our walk on our weekend getaway through the woods, I remember looking down from the stars to see the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. That was you.
[ He looks up at the overcast sky, mimicking the same actions he took that same day. ]
I realise now, as I've gotten to know you better as...a lover, that I should have asked to kiss you, or preluded it with anything, but I did not know.
So I did not know what to think when you froze, when I felt nothing from you. I thought I'd misread. That you were not as fond of me as I, you. And those fears, my...anxiety lead to those nightmares. One of which you saw.
[ His eyes drop again, focusing on the road ahead. ]
I know you don't hate me, or think I don't deserve a second chance at life. And I hold you to absolutely no fault. You are not responsible for my poor control over my emotions. That's... That something I need to work on.
no subject
One of those nightmares was of...of Mordremoth's hold on me. [ He gulps. He still can't think of the jungle dragon without deep fear, panic gripping his chest. He pauses, and lets the feeling pass. That is also something that probably needs addressing, but...not now. ]
It was later, at Lord van Ziek's meeting, that I met Mishka, and learned he was the one who shared in that nightmare with me. It was also then that I learned of his affliction, his affections for Adelis. With that and all the wine, I was feeling...raw. So when I saw you and Adelis holding hands, I assumed my chance had slipped away.
I assumed wrong, of course. I know in hindsight I should have talked to you, instead of getting...swept away in my own emotions. But like I said, I realise this is a weakness of mine.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)