crescentview | winter catch-all

[He’s there, even if he’s not actually inside his house. He’s around the back, watching Cerberus frolic, but the dog alerts him to the arrival of a visitor.

Seeing Otegine there should have been expected - was expected, because who else would bother to come visit him? - but the tension in the air is less expected.]

What’s with that look?

[For as much as he can see Otegine’s face with him fussing with his scarf… Also, Cerberus is still out! Still stuck as a puppy though, only reaching up to Owen’s knees, and it growls briefly at Otegine.]

Oh... hey, there you are.

[He actually has a dog. Incredible. Here he thought Owen had been making that up... well, he stands corrected.

He'll hook a finger to his scarf to free up his space, a little bitten and red from the cold, keeping a distance from the dog as he tries to make his way over to Owen.]

I didn't realize it had so many heads. Is that, uh... normal, back home?

His name is Cerberus.

[It’s an obedient dog, at least. Way more obedient then the adult Cerberus, which probably says something about training puppies… Or how Owen’s been dealing with everything here.

He arches an eyebrow.]

He’s not a typical dog, but he’s cute, isn’t he? Incredibly fierce.

Cerberus... [Huh.] I guess so. I don't know dogs all that well...

[He lowers to a crouch to get a better look, hoping it makes him a little less intimidating. Big things were intimidating to littler things, right?]

Are you guys liking the snow?

[Pff.]

No, I imagine not. I’ll have to teach you more, but I admit even I’m more familiar with wolves.

[Cerberus sniffs at him, one of the heads still growling while the others don’t seem particularly bothered about.]

The snow reminds me of home, but you didn’t come all the way out here to ask me about the weather, did you?

They're similar, right? I... don't know if I'll follow along, but I'd still love to hear.

[Except Owen peels at the week excuse for a topic change almost immediately. Otegine's expression drops with a sheepish shrug.]

Mn... no, I didn't.

[Gloved hands stuff into the pockets of his jackets as the light in his eyes sombers over.]

Do you wanna go inside for a minute, or are you okay to take a walk for a little bit?

[Are they similar? He doesn’t think so but he doesn’t know what would prove they are…]

We can talk about it later.

[He considers Otegine, frowning, before tilting his head to the door.]

…Let’s go inside. I was going to make some tea. […] That roommate I was assigned isn’t around anymore, so it would be just us.

[Noe wasn't here... which meant privacy. Good. This wasn't exactly a conversation anyone else needed to snoop on, anyway.]

Fine by me.

[Otegine will wait obediently, letting Owen lead the way back into the house, kicking off the snow from his shoes before stepping in and taking a careful look around. He hasn't been over here hardly at all... it's a shame, he thinks.

Once the door is closed, he pulls his scarf off with his hands wringing the fabric, a visible hesitation to keep talking.]

...

I talked to the goddess yesterday. Or... tried to, I guess.

What is it people say? Make yourself comfortable? Go ahead and do that.

[The house is surprisingly sparse, anything around for decoration whatever it is Noé left behind. Everything Owen needs he carries with him, and he hasn't cared about making the place feel "homey".

He heads directly to the kitchen, teapot and teacups pulling settling on the table with a gesture of his hands as the flame on the stove lights itself. The kettle settles onto the flame as Owen takes a seat, propping his elbows on the table as he watches Otegine.]

It didn't go well. What were you asking her about?

[A beat.]

Was it about feathers?

[He watches Owen set things up without ever touching a dish or knob, an open awe as he slowly moves toward the table and slides into a seat.

He nods to the wizard's first question, and goes quiet at the rest.]

Not completely.

I didn't want to ask her for anything like that unless I'd exhausted my options. So... that's what I went to her about. I asked if there was anything else we could do to get you home, or some way to keep a vow like that safe for you.

[...]

She, uh... she won't have it. And now I can't go back to her.

[He preens at the awe, feeling very smug even though the magic he’s doing isn’t all that impressive.]

You tried to bargain with the Goddess?

[Wait, wait, hold on a second.

Safe for… him? He shouldn’t be surprised, not after how insistent Otegine was over keeping that promise to protect him, but it’s still hard to wrap his head around how much Otegine would do for him.

It’s hard to believe because it’s hard to imagine a world where he deserves it.]

Why did you try to do that? How did you piss her off so badly?

Because I want to get you home safely someday. That's why.

[And right now, they can't do that with marriage. Not reasonably, anyway.

He blows out a frustrated breath through the nose, one arm propping his head up as he buries his fingers into his hair.]

Except I guess I offended her with how I asked. She was asking me about a feather up front, and I told her I didn't need or want her blessing right now if she couldn't at least promise you'd make it home without being shackled to somebody who couldn't go with you. I told her to just name her price.

She thinks I'm asking for her to bend the rules, though. [A bitter shrug, his face tightening into an icy sulk as his hand moves to tuck under his chin instead.] From what she said, either a compromise needs to be made on the vow... or you get nothing.

I haven't been able to get near her pond since.

[He rests his cheek against his hand, feeling… touched. It’s a sweet sentiment, even if Otegine approached the topic with all the grace of Mithra in a marketplace.]

So you insulted her. The stronger something is, the more pride it has.

[The kettle starts to whistle, but Owen’s magic takes care of it so he can continue to stare at Otegine.]

…Do you even want it? The feather?

[Is it just to get them out of here? Does he even want a marriage - what does marriage even mean to Otegine?]

...

...

Do you?

[He's not the one with his powers hanging in the balance. His answer here... it feels completely moot, if Owen doesn't even want it.]

[He opens his mouth, about to say “no” without even thinking, but then he pauses.]

…

[Does he? He shouldn’t. It’s far too risky, because what are the odds he’d be able to keep a promise of forever?

It’s impossible. It’s impossible, but there’s something about it that makes him pause, that keeps him from immediately rejecting the idea - because he does want to be with Otegine. Is marriage necessary for that? With the Goddess’ rules it seems it’s their only option…]

…

[Oh, hey!! The tea’s done steeping. Don’t mind him as he pours it out and tries to to panic, but he’s so distracted he nearly misses the cup he’s set out.

Love is something he’s never experienced. He’s still not sure it’s what he feels for Otegine, but he’s not sure trying to analyze his feelings is going to give him the answer. Does he want to bind his very existence to Otegine?

…If there’s anyone he could trust his self to…]

[Ah, shit. The tea is overflowing. He blinks at the spill, as if surprised that happened after he zoned out.]

I…

[Will have to clean up this mess, but it’s not the most pressing thing.]

I think so?

A-ah... Owen, O-owen, the tea--

[He reaches over frantically to at least tilt the kettle up so it stops pouring all over the table. What a mess. Still, he doesn't quite move to clean it up either, looking towards Owen with a flicker of genuine surprise.]

[The kettle is deposited on the table, the Touken getting up from his seat to at least guide the wizard away from the spill with a careful tug against his wrists.]

Owen... hey, look at me...

...

... I'm not going to force that on you. Even if she'd given me the feather, I... I still wouldn't want you to say yes, if you weren't absolutely sure.

[A safeguard at worst. But at its best...

Was that even something he deserved? That Owen wanted? To be tied to one another with that kind of weight between them, with duty heavy on both of their hearts in two separate worlds? Would it work?

Did... Otegine himself want it to work? Is that why the thought of going home ached him right now, more than it felt a comfort?

...

He keeps Owen's hands clenched between his own.]

If you need time to think about it, please. Please, think as long as you need to. But...

If I can give you that option someday... just know that I want to. With, or-- or without the goddess blessing it.

[If they never receive the goddess' blessing, they'll never leave. If their strength relies on hers, there's no chance in finding another way. Well - there could be, but it might take centuries to find it.

The feathers are their best chance to get out of here.

(How does she expect anyone to decide what they want to do with the rest of their lives in just four months?? There's no way everyone else on this island isn't as conflicted as he is, right? He can't be that bad with all that romance stuff, right???)

He wasn't made to do all this thinking.]

The longer we sit and agonize over what to do, the less clear it's going to be. We'll get tangled up in all of these worries about promises, about our duties, about everything else around us and there will never be an easy answer.

[...]

I don't want to spend centuries of my life wondering if I should make a promise or not. It will never be the smart thing, or the safe thing. That's one of the few immutable facts of the world... unless the goddess can change that. Neither of us really knows what she can do, do we?

[If she could, it would make everything so much easier, but hoping for an easy solution just seems like setting yourself up to have your hopes entirely crushed. Still...

It's a possibility. She doesn't work under the same rules as either of their worlds, so maybe promises made under her dominion wouldn't have the same clauses...?]

If you had a feather to give me, I would take it. I'm going to be with you for as long as you can stand me, anyways, so... would it really change all that much? We can figure out if there's any loopholes or whatever later, but... but that much should be safe to do.

[It seems so knee-jerk, an almost panicked decision from the wizard, that Otegine has to keep himself very deliberately calm as Owen tries to voice our his feelings. It's... heartening, to hear Owen wouldn't say no. But the reasoning...

His hands leave Owen's to instead raise to his face, cupping either side of his head right behind the line of his jaw, as though to keep his gaze from leaving the Touken.]

No, we don't know. I asked as much. All she told me was that, if we don't think a vow is possible... then we shouldn't be asking for engagement. That it was a compromise that needed to be made between us. Not with her. If it's in her capability, I don't know if she's even willing to provide it.

...

[His eyes soften, a little pained, before leaning forward with a glancing kiss against Owen's temple.]

I'm not going anywhere, Owen. But I don't want either of us making a choice just because we're scared. We've been through worse in waiting. And it doesn't need to take centuries.

...I can't go back to her right now regardless, you know. Even if I could, I already gave her my ultimatum, and I don't feel any different - I'm not going to ask you for marriage if it's pinning you into a position where you don't have a choice.

...

[His eyes falter, dropping to the ground as his fingers curl gently against Owen's hair.]

... She needs to hear words of love, anyway. I... already told her what I felt. But I don't think it was good enough.

She asks for a lot, doesn’t she?

[The affection keeps him seated, so he doesn’t go storming off to yell at the goddess and get himself killed again. The casual touches are nice, even during a conversation like this. It’s like soothing a wild beast, but much more ridiculous.]

I’ll go ask her, then. I’ll make her give me an answer.

[Is that a good idea? Probably not.

He leans into the touch, closing his eyes as he just enjoys it as he mulls over his words.]

But… she’s not wrong. [wow he hated saying that] About being sure about our vows before we make them - but I don’t think she understood exactly what you meant, either. You want me to make a promise to you without the burden of guilt and danger, right?

[He had never thought of how much of a burden that could be, for those wizards made promises to…

This is so complicated, but he’s too stubborn to let the goddess win.]

Leave it to me.

[don’t]

[It gives him pause. He wanted to think he was asking a question on Owen's behalf, not his own. But...

...

He really was just hesitating again in a different way, wasn't he?]

...Only if you want the same. If it's a burden I have to hold, the guilt and danger that might come... I'm willing to live with it. I know what it means for you.

I just want to keep protecting you. So it's hard, knowing this... this might not be one of those things I can handle.

[He doesn't like how useless he feels, for something that should be momentous and wonderful. He wants to ease the worry away... perhaps just as much for himself as for Owen.

Alarm bells are still going off in his head, knowing what's happened with Owen and the goddess in the past. But this is his future. His say. So Otegine exhales shakily, backing up to look at Owen with a serious gaze.]

Give it a day, at least? I trust you. But... I know you don't like her. And she knows you're just as stubborn as she is. [His thumbs roll circles against the base of Owen's skull.] I don't want to see you die again just yet. Not over this.

Edited 2023-03-06 19:33 (UTC)

Don't worry about it. [he should probably worry about it] I'm sure I'll get her to see eye-to-eye with me.

[Maybe. He'll... try, at least. Attempt to try.

What's the worst that could happen?]

With us.

[He straightens up a bit, even though he'd gladly just sit there and have his hair pet. The spilled tea vanishes, and Owen sighs. He had actually been kind of looking forward to that, so it's time to start the process all over again.]

Besides, the only way you can keep protecting me is at my side. This will help keep you there, won't it?

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1/??

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ok i’m done

Gay panic: not even once (also 1/2)

/2

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