December Open Post/Catch All/Overflow

[winebar]

Who: Van Zieks and whoever
What: General catch all for bingos and other effects
When: December
Where: Various
Warnings: TBA

Something has gone terribly wrong? (December 9th)
[You are just minding your own business, walking on the beach, or through the wood, when you hear what is certainly an unfamiliar laugh. If you look around, you'll soon attach it to... van Zieks? No, this can't be him. He's smiling. He's barefoot and covered in dirt. His hair isn't immaculately combed back and he's simply wearing a loose cotton shirt with his tight lawyer pants, though he does have a sword now hanging at his waist, which is new. This cannot be van Zieks. Even the cadence of his voice is lacking his normal ominous grit, but the voice is certainly his otherwise.]

Oh, come here! I have something to show you.
[Seriously who the hell is this and what did he do with the real van Zieks???]

Nevermind, Uncle has the Depression Again (December 10th)
[The following day, van Zieks is back in his austere best, looking more glowery and somber than ever before, like he's making up for the time he lost yesterday. You may find him at his usual haunt in the darkest corner of the winery, OR if you're wandering around in the woods, you might find him surveying the plot of land on his farm, or rather, the chaos that the him of the day before wreaked, which is to say, something was done to the plots, but it's hard to tell if it was anything constructive because they're upturned earth everywhere. Van Zieks is leaning heavily on the shovel he's holding, looking tired.]

Let me know if you have something specific in mind for bingo
[Hit me up on discord or on plurk agentmaine]

Comments

[winebar]

[Hmmmmm.]

Well, I hardly know the first thing about all this "farming" buisness. If I win you have to sow the seeds I've been given.

[sluice]

[ Wow. ]

Deal. Planning to come down, or shall I bring the fight to you?

[ Childe's going to give him this opportunity now before any other major executive decisions, like whipping out his bow for a couple of warning shots. Choose wisely, van Zieks. ]

[winebar]

[He makes a show of thinking about it, but it's really just him being silly, because the next moment he jumping down and drawing his sword in one fluid movement, trying to get the first blow in with this element of surprise. Rude of him tbh.]

[sluice]

Gutsy move! Let's see you keep up with me.

[ NO, HE WANTED THIS? NO...

Instigating everything, Childe takes the offensive, parrying van Zieks with this spear that appears to come out of nowhere. It's ocean-blue and scintillant and kind of bullshit even by magical standards, in the way that he can call upon it so effortlessly when deciding to retaliate.

Jab, jab, jab! Aiming for no vital spots, Childe nonetheless is working to disarm van Zieks of his sword. A polearm isn't the best in quarters these tight, though, surrounded by an outcropping of trees. Evidently, he's underestimating van Zieks. ]

[winebar]

[That's fine! He's got a basic sword and has never fought against someone using a polearm before?? He's plenty experienced against other swords but he has no training for that because who the fuck uses a polearm in this day and age. Still, he knows, objectively, how to fight longer weapons. They have a larger range, but that works to their disadvantage in close quarters combat.

It takes a certain amount of boldness to pull that off, of course, but van Zieks is equal to it, and he's going for it. He may be a fancy man, but he's off the chain today, and even if he wasn't, he's unfortunately got a lot of hands on practice swordfighting in life or death situations.]

Don't get overconfident just because you have a flashy weapon!
[He isn't using the sharp edge of his blade, though. Because he doesn't want to accidentally murder.]

[sluice]

[ Although he's never dealt with a Ye Olde Victorian, Childe can read the lack of murderous aggression here and dials it down accordingly. It's very possible that van Zieks may be hiding some crazy power-up, but this lack of brutality when he's treated to blunt edge of the sword sings a different tale. Probably too soft-hearted to kill anyone, despite the bravado he's touting. ]

If you survive, I'll even treat you after. [ As if more time with Childe is something anyone actually wants? ] Just outlast me. I'll give you... [ Thinking, thinking... ] ... five minutes!

[ Is that an insult? Maybe, maybe not. Dodge this quick spearpoint as Childe goes on the offensive, no attempt made to spare van Zieks the aggression. ]

[winebar]

[Oh??? You write off van Zieks??? You write him off like the football??? Oh! Oh!!! Jail for Childe!!! Van Zieks visibly bristles at the offer, at the tacit suggestion that Childe is already confident that van Zieks can't beat him outright.

van Zieks is stubborn, but that also means he has the perseverance to stick to his guns. However this is wrong van Zieks, which means he doesn't, and you know what, if Childe isn't going to pull punches, he won't either! With a flourish as he evades an attack, he flips his sword over. You want to play games, gay boy? He'll go for blood now, trying to land a nasty strike to the chest, trying to stay close to put Childe and his longer weapon at a disadvantage, ignoring the grazes he receives from some less than perfect dodges.]

I've outlasted killers for ten years now, you think five minutes is a challenge?
[You made him mad.]

[sluice]

[ He can see that. ]

Five minutes can mean the difference between life and death.

[ Okay, they can dance. A return to form is awfully pleasant, since Childe can drop these pretenses for just a short while. Parrying the sword comes easily, nicking his clothes and his extremities but striking nothing vital, and Childe doesn't bother switching up these bullshit powers long enough to wield a sword of his own. It's not an iron-clad defense, just peerless confidence with the spear as the two of them cavort around that humungous pit van Zieks presumably shoveled up mid-nervous breakdown. Funny, but also a little ridiculous.

Sadly, Childe's just deadass a guy of many compulsions, the foremost being the urge to attempt knocking van Zieks into the hole he dug himself. Does he tumble down? ]

[winebar]

[Van Zieks puts up a better fight than you'd expect from a fancy nobleman with no military service. That said, typically the places were he's used to fighting (the streets of London) don't have huge holes in the ground. So he really doesn't think to watch his feet that carefully, his whole attention needed to keep up with Childe and avoid getting far enough way that he loses the advantage.

It's probably like, four minutes, before he finally slips up and places his foot wrong, that is, placing it where there is no solid ground.]

Ah-
[He realizes his mistake quickly enough to avoid falling in altogether, though he does abandon his sword recklessly enough that it does fall in. On the other hand it frees both his hands up to grab onto the nearest surface to try and stop himself from falling, that is, Childe.]

[sluice]

[ If Childe didn't have, like, anime twink powers, this would've been a done deal for him. His strength lies in agility, not overwhelming brute force. Sadly, he's competent at fighting; although he's never dealt with arenas of battle that feature holes in the ground, none of it trips him up.

What screws him over, ultimately, is his hubris, lingering way too close to van Zieks when he gets the leg up on him. Taking a tumble in, his fingers latch onto on the edge of the pit. It's an upheaval, and while he'd be able to drag himself out, he can't do so with dead weight (read: a Victorian sword aficionado?) clutching at his other arm.

Down they both go in the hole, then. Perhaps it's been five minutes? Perhaps not. So long, cruel world. ]

[winebar]

[No I want van Zieks to get so close to winning but fail, because it's funnier.

Anyway, oof. At least now van Zieks can retrieve his sword right away. Not that he's going to, he's just gonna kind of lay in the dirt, groaning a little.]

You did that on purpose.

[sluice]

What part of that looked intentional to you?

[ The part where he fell down with van Zieks, or the part where he freezes up like a deer-in-the-headlights, halfway to concussed? One of these days, the brain damage is going to catch up to him. The magic spear is gone for the time being, evaporated right into the ether.

In a show of goodwill, Childe rises to his feet and ambles over to extend a hand to van Zieks where he's collapsed on the ground. Is he gonna get stabbed? ]

Why would you make it so deep, anyways?

[ What was the end goal here? Extortion? Just for fun? ]

[winebar]

[He hesitates, but does take the hand, brushing himself off before crouching to collect his saber, which he immediately sheathes. No stabbing for you.]

... What do you mean? If it wasn't this deep it wouldn't be a good trap, would it?
[He sounds genuinely confused, like he's actually not sure. It's possible he's never dug a trap like this before.]

[sluice]

[ The vicious stabbing can be postponed for a later date, maybe. ]

Don't you think it's a lot of effort for little payoff? [ Work smarter, not harder? ] Not that I'm one to judge.

[ Childe's done more for less! For now, he'll extend his hand out to van Zieks again. ]

Grab tight if you want to get out of here.

[ Otherwise, he's welcome to watch as Childe water jettisons himself out of the hole. It looks kind of like this (read: spoilers). ]

[winebar]

[He sounds even more like a twink than I could have imagined. Anyway, he does follow the instruction, because he DOES want to get out of the hole, and didn't think to ask how exactly Childe was going to get them out.]

I-I'm still not used to all of this... magic being real.
[A little frazzled, that's certainly why he's still holding onto Childe when they're back on proper footing.]

[sluice]

[ Sorry, that's just his indoor voice (derogatory). It's also his outdoor voice. ]

It isn't magic! [ Pedantry at its finest, but he can't discount the actual magi in his world, having encountered one first-hand very recently. ] It's a Vision.

[ Whenever van Zieks can summon the strength to release him from this handhold, he'll tap the sparkly little gem at his hip. ]

Mine grants me control over water. If you encounter anyone else with these, chances are that they're from the same place I am.

[ Best keep that in mind in that future fight with Diluc. ]

You're a funny guy! I'll remember that. [ Pulling away, Childe just... casually begins to walk off. Goodbye? Farewell. ] The next time we meet, you're welcome to call me Tartaglia. Or Childe, if you prefer.

[ He didn't even catch van Zieks's name? It's fine. See you around, stranger. ]