crescentview | (catch-all) ho-ho-holy shit

[ These buttons are labelled but without knowing how VCRs work, the labels aren't much help. At least the machine turns on by itself once a tape is in, so they can't mess this up! Pressing the big button that says 'play', Kaeya waits for something to happen! ]

[ ... they still need to turn on the TV. ]

Well, this is a lot more complicated than I thought.

Hm. [He leans back, putting his hands on his hips and furrowing his brow.] Perhaps... another button? Or some sort of connector?

Let's see...

[ And Kaeya is just going to press a bunch of buttons at once. After hitting a few, the TV turns on! But... the VCR is now in fast-forward mode so yes, they're watching something but it's at the speed of 5x. ]

Whoa. [Syrlya's eyes attempt to track what's going on in the screen but... that's really fast.]

... I have no idea what is happening.

Hm, perhaps this is how you watch? Though it's hard to tell what's happening.

[ The first movie that they've put in is 'Little Nightmare on Xmas Street: Santa Attacks' so this cute winter wonderland scene is quickly turning into a warzone. ]

If we need to go through a few of these, it should be rather fast this way.

Hm... [That's True but he kind of wanted to understand the movie while they watched. He sees explosions? Things got violent quickly.]

What's the next one on our list? [This seems like it can't go on too long.]

The library was able to generously loan us...

[ He reads as he lifts up the small pile of VHS tapes. ]

Ricky vs Janet: On Mars, Easterween XXI, and 50 Colors of Red.

[Syrlya reaches to take 50 Colors of Red while he keeps an eye on the screen. Which results in a bit of blind fumbling before he finds it.] Maybe we should read what is written on them before we put it in.

[ Kaeya leans over to read the back of 50 Colors of Red's summary on the back. ]

"Much to her surprise, the sensitive and guileless English major, Anna Steel, finds herself surrendering to an irresistible force, when an ordinary interview with the telecommunications magnate and enigmatic bachelor, Chris Red, paves the way for an out-of-the-ordinary relationship. However, Red's unexpected offer leads to an unusual agreement, one that will lure the incurably romantic woman into his well-hidden world. Now, little by little, Chris entices Anna into a sensual reality, seducing her to explore her limits in an unrestrained passion, and tempting her to embrace the cathartic feeling of being different. Above all, Anna wants to mend Chris' broken heart; nevertheless, for love's salted wounds, there are no safe words."

[ i literally copied this from imdb ]

[Is that even a coherent paragraph.]

... Well, might as well try that one next. [Unless Kaeya has complaints. He sets the tape down to crawl back to the VCR and... try to figure out how to get the tape already in there to come out.]

[ Time to press every button. Luckily, it comes out! But when they put it in and it starts to autoplay... it's going to force them to watch every single agonizingly awful sex scene. ]

[Aha! Success. Syrlya swaps the other tape in and, in pressing random buttons, has managed to put the speed back to normal. Though once the movie really gets going they may wish it was in fast forward again.

For now, Syrlya scoots back to return to Kaeya's side as the movie starts.] Oh, this is much easier to understand.

Yes, but I'm afraid that I'd rather prefer not to understand.

[ Because wow, some of the dialogue and acting in this is bad, like The Room bad, the 'oh my god they're eating her and then they're going to eat me oh my goddddd' bad, this is terrible. ]

Hm. [Yeah, this is... not a compelling story. Syrlya checks his bingo card, just to see if they've fulfilled enough of 'movie marathon' to count. Not yet.

So he sets the card back down, leaning back against the front of the couch and folding his arms. At least, for a while they can watch the movie in relative silence... until the first sex scene starts.]

--Oh. Oh, it's smut. [He raises his brows. Did humans really make a movie that has full on sex for everyone to see? Humans?] Are we... really meant to be witnessing this?

[ Kaeya is not bothered by the sex scene, just mildly surprised that they're actually watching one. Wow, he knows about smutty books, but this is a Lot More than reading some scandalous words. ]

Well, if we weren't meant to witness this, it wouldn't have been made, don't you think?

I suppose that's true... [Still, actually watching the intimacy really is a whole lot more than snippets of Destiny's Pledge he's skimmed out of morbid curiosity. This feels more like encroaching on someone else's privacy--he just has to remind himself it is all an act. Like a play. Yeah.

His gaze averts aside to Kaeya.]

(catch-all) ho-ho-holy shit

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