crescentview | 🌸 be not defeated by the rain 🌸

[The staring is almost - almost - enough to make Owen uncomfortable. It's not like the disdain or fear he sees from most people, and he has no idea what it is about what he's said that has Otegine looking at him like that. Why does it make it feel like he's the one being exposed, here? Like this has somehow opened up something he hadn't realized was being closed, and the way Otegine responds to the jab doesn't... help.

Confusing. It's all just awful and confusing. This is the worst. He hates this. This all makes him feel weak and miserable in a way he wasn't expecting and a way it shouldn't, but it's... compromising. It's compromising in a way few things have been before, and he knows his heart is conflicted. It shouldn't be, because he knows he's better off alone and that he doesn't need anyone in his life and that he doesn't even want anyone in it, but.

But.

But he's here now, on Otegine's couch, feeling like something has been chipped away and not even sure what that something is or how to cover up the hole left behind, all from such a stupid and pointless conversation.

He takes a moment to organize his thoughts, the smirk on his face hopefully convincing enough.]

It's almost novel, even if it's also infuriating. You'll never see me as an evil Northern wizard, so I guess I'll just have to get used to that.

[Hah.]

Maybe it'll feel refreshing after a while, coming from someone like you.

[...

His chest tightens, unsure of whether to feel touched or offended or a little of both. Mm. Maybe he should just get used to that.]

It's like I said. Right now, anyway... you're just Owen. Owen might be a wizard, and he might have a past, and he might have a tongue that's a little too sharp for his own good and might know a world that's pretty different. But... you're still Owen.

If you're not going to question me for what I am, I don't have any reason to do the same. You... annoy me sometimes, sure, and I can't promise I'll ever really understand how you've experienced the world, but...

[His glance over towards the wizard is cautious.]

Just as you are... I don't hate you, either. For what it's worth.

[A beat, and he attempt a half-smile of his own,though it's weighed a bit by fatigue.] Just ask next time you actually want something, okay?

Edited 2023-02-08 22:02 (UTC)

[Owen looks away at that half-smile, as tired as it is, shoulders hunching. Wow. Look at that fire. What a nice fire, Owen almost feels warm, isn't that great. It's so much better to look at then Otegine, because it's not like the fire can look back. This is great. Look at it burn.]

Well, you really shouldn't make promises you can't keep, even if you don't have to worry about them as much.

[Besides, it's unlikely anyone will ever be able to really understand someone who can't even understand themselves.]

...

[Owen falls silent for a moment, before slowly and with uncharacteristic wariness, speaks up again. Or maybe it's nerves, but that's silly. Owen doesn't get nervous, and there's not even anything to be nervous about.]

What if it's another kiss, huh?

[Though... he has to wonder what Otegine even wants from him.]

Hey... it's a big deal for you, right? Maybe I won't remember the best at first, but... I'll try to be careful.

[Could Owen have been pulling his leg about all that? Sure. But having it brought up again, in this more subdued environment... it hammers it home a bit that Owen isn't taking the topic lightly.

A question for another time, perhaps. It's better, he thinks, to just let Owen know he's understood what he's asking.

...

And then the silence breaks.

The timid rise of the question surprises him, a rise of something warm through his limbs. Was... he serious?]

...

...

[Gently:] Yeah. You... you could ask for that.

[His pulse suddenly pounds in his ears. He doesn't understand. The shift in him feels different, almost frightening. But he swallows down the panic of change ]

Would you be okay if I tried this time?

It is.

[It’s why he’ll never be the one to make a promise, and another reason to hold Otegine to the same standards a wizard holds himself to.

Maybe it’s mostly just so he can find something about Otegine to him seem… worse, though, as if that will curb the confusion he inspires in Owen.]

So do your best, or you’ll regret it.

[Well. That is… absolutely not the answer he was expecting, and he thinks he’s several centuries too old to be feeling new things so constantly. The worst part it doesn’t even feel bad, but he that just makes him want it all to stop even more.

Why is this so different? It’s not like Owen hasn’t kissed other people - he’s certainly done more intimate things, so it’s baffling. Kissing hasn’t meant anything before, and he doesn’t see why it would…]

…

[Ah. Ah? Oh…]

Yeah. I’d like that.

[It’s a bad thing he just says the first thing that comes to mind, because that’s more damning then he wants it to be.]

[...

Quietly, he shifts from his seat on the couch, leveraging his weight slightly up onto one bent knee to give him some height. Owen's still all wrapped up, and he's rather not disturb that, so maybe...

...

He swllows hard as he reaches out to place a hand along Owen's jawline, tilting his face up with his thumb.]

...Show me what to do if I mess up. Please.

[His smile is weak, all nerves that have his grip trembling as he leans overtop Owen, the cold of his skin vibrant against the heat of breath as he cautiously takes up the wizard's mouth with his own.

It's clumsy, and he's definitely overthinking it. But the fingers at Owen's jaw still curl in slightly, the kiss lingering enough to remember the taste of it.]

You don't have to be so nervous.

[It's not the best kiss Owen's had in his life - it's awkward and clumsy and exactly what you would expect from someone with absolutely no experience, but there's something about it that's almost charming. Almost, because Owen isn't being charmed, or endeared, and he absolutely isn't going to think about this moment later and wonder what the hell was he thinking and asking himself why he's letting all of this just happen.

Still, any crises about what's happening to him and why he's doing and thinking like this are a problem for future Owen, because present Owen just laughs softly once the kiss ends. It's not the mocking laugh Otegine's more familiar with, tone instead something almost fond.]

See? You did just fine, and the next will be even better.

[Which - will there be a next? Does he want there to be a next? Owen isn't sure he wants to answer that himself, and he's not sure he wants an answer from Otegine even if he knows the spirit would get mad at him for deciding on an answer for him.]

[Color dusts his expression when they withdraw for breath, though Otegine can't quite bring himself to close the distance completely. Of all the things he's expecting from Owen, reassurance is not one of them. His chest aches full with relief, a nervous breath of a laugh against Owen's own.]

You... want another one, then?

I don't mind. I, um... it's not like I'm going to magically be great, but...

[He shrugs shallowly, the grin on his face just a few nerves short of being boyishly cocky. It's... practice. Yknow.]

[Panic, or something not quite but near enough, floods Owen at the look on Otegine’s face. It an attractive face, but that’s precisely the problem with it. He shoves a hand over his face, trying to cover that grin, the tips of his ears going red.]

Absolutely not.

[…]

You’ll let it get to your head.

[Not that Otegine would be worse off with more confidence, and the light flush on his cheeks is probably undermining the scowl.]

[Ack.]

O-okay, okay, hahah! [It's muffled with Owen's hand in his face, though the smile is still evident even as leans back to give the wizard his space again, reaching up to carefully pull that hand away by the wrist.] Some other time, then.

[Would there be another time? He hopes so...]

Who knows, maybe it gave you something on your bingo card for the trouble.

Seems like it’s already gotten to your head.

[Another time? Absolutely not happening. Owen swears it, to himself, with confidence nobody else would believe. It’s more deluding himself, at this point.]

Maybe? I don’t even know what’s on it.

[He says, like it hasn’t been over a month since he got the card.]

Eh? You said next time, right? It's okay. If you want another one... again, you only need to ask.

[It's said simply, as though he doesn't intend to question it further than that.]

...Have you not looked at your card? We've been here for weeks now.

That was before I knew you were going to get that smug look on your face!

[That comes out whinier then he was intending it to, and his face scrunches up.]

Looking at it isn't going to be any help, is it?

[Could he just be forthright about his literacy? Absolutely not.]

Smug?

[...

Oh. Wait a second.

:)]

Are... you mad that I actually liked it?

Edited 2023-02-10 18:27 (UTC)

No.

[Yes.]

Shut up.

[Hate. He is full of hate, not embarrassment or anything else. No thoughts about how this side of Otegine is appealing. None at all.]

Let’s just talk about the bingo cards. You care about them, right?

[He can't help the chuckle that comes out, because oh my god that's... really cute, actually... His chin rests against one hand, tiltling his head to get a look at how Owen's expression sours.]

No, no, you absolutely are.

It's okay. Maybe that just means I gotta make it up to you.

[His grin is just borderline cheeky now. Heheheheh.]

Anyway.

I mean, I care enough that I don't want to just stay in squalor or anything. A lot of this stuff is really simple, and she's fine at giving us better amenities if we can manage it.

...

Did you really never read that pamphlet you ripped up all over the place the first day?

Yeah? And how are you going to do that, exactly?

[He’s going to expect a lot in repayment, even if he’s been way more terrible then Otegine’s teasing could ever hope to be.

Which. If he gets any more teasing, he really might just walk out into the hurricane with no pants on.]

I couldn’t even if I wanted to, but I’m sure it was all pointless drivel anyways.

I dunno. Maybe just make sure I'm better next time you ask me for a kiss? Kiss other places? [You know, practical things.

But more importantly:]

...You couldn't? But I thought everybody could read it... [Did the language magic just... break, or something? How does that even work...]

Do you have your card on you?

[Is that practical??? Is it?? Does he - he absolutely has no idea how that could be construed. He can’t. It’s impossible.]

Other places. Right.

[He is just going to shove that thought into a deep, dark corner and not think about Otegine’s mouth anymore. Or at least not for the rest of the night.]

…I can get it.

[And just like that, his suitcase appears in front of open, unfastening itself and opening to reveal a rather normal interior. He doesn’t have a lot in it at the moment, so it doesn’t take a lot of time to find the bingo card in it. At least the grid makes it easy to know what it is…

He holds it out.]

Here it is. Look at it all you want.

[The suitcase from nowhere is a little surprising, but he can accept it. He usually can manifest his own weapon in certain circumstances, sonit's not like it's impossible.

He carefully slides to his feet with Owen's card, just long enough to pluck his up from the mantle of the fireplace where it had been set out to dry. Normally he'd just fold it up inside one of his pockets, but rain sure was fun for paper.

He'll drop down to the floor in front of the couch with a huff, spreading both cards flat. Each only have a couple marked off.]

I mean, the goddess has stamped it, so you've finished a couple, but... unless you can see something I'm missing, I don't see a square mentioning a kiss on yours.

[He does, however, color a bit looking at a couple of Owen's spaces, instead scanning his own card...]

...O-oi, wait, this should count. [He points to one of his own. Too bad Owen can't read it.] What, did the goddess think I did a bad job or something??

Edited 2023-02-10 22:50 (UTC)

[Why is he going red?]

Do you see something you like, Otegine?

[Light and teasing, even if he has honestly no idea why he would even be blushing right now. This is just as annoying as he thought it would be, but at least he’s hopefully annoying in return.

He leans forward, but getting a better look doesn’t make what he’s pointing at any clearer.]

Maybe you did. Poor little spirit can’t do that right.

[What is it. Help. He’s dying.]

Wh-- hey, who's little???

[HE'S ALREADY TOO SHORT DON'T RUB IT IN... "otegine you're 192 cm--" TOO SHORT!!

He's shooting Owen a sulking look, but rolling his eyes and just continuing his train of thought, focusing his pouting on the bingo cards instead.]

You said I did fine, and it's not like I kissed you for the square, so that's all I care. She can kiss me herself if she wants to judge. [Not happening, because the goddess thinks he is lowkey pathetic, but wow she sure is picky. :/]

But it says kiss, right? So why didn't it count??? What does "french" have to do with anything?

[Huffs!!

...

He does realize he's slipped right past Owen's teasing, and he squirms in his seat with a clearing of his throat.]

I... yours is fine. The, uh... the ones that say "smut" just kind of catch me off guard sometimes.

Edited 2023-02-10 23:57 (UTC)

[According to their height difference, Owen's the little one, but he's also several centuries older... so there is no good answer. The reaction does make him laugh brightly, but it mellows out as he listens to Otegine complain.]

Maybe "french" is a different way of kissing - kissing is more then just putting your lips on something, but I don't know what the goddess is expecting from you.

[What's "french"????]

Smut.

[That does explain the blush, yes, but it's fine? The smut is fine? Filing that away for later.]

So these smut options interest you? You're more adventurous then I thought... Which one sounds the most intriguing?

[Is he just trying to find out what's on his card? Yes. Is he being subtle with how confused he is? Not really, sounding more and more baffled as he speaks. He's missing more context then he thought for what this island is about...]

France is a western country in my world, but I don't know what that has to do with a kiss... or if they even kiss different... geeze...

[This whole intimacy and romance thing is complicated, he needs to read the rule book...

Owen doubles down on the smut squares, and Otegine's blush just deepens, shoulders tensing up underneath Owen's chin.]

I... no! No, I -- it's-- I dont know?!

I-I don't know what "smut" means, alright? [It's sputtered.] I mean, I've got one that had that too, see? But it's just a word. And yours is... you know.

Sex.

[Well. At least he knows what "sex" means. Good for him.]

[Given Owen's experience with the Western country, he's pretty sure they do kiss differently at this western country.]

No harm in trying different kisses, is there? Maybe you'll be surprised.

[This is a lot of information to take in.]

Isn't "smut"... pornography?

[He sounds unsure, and that's because he is. He's also confused, still, but now he knows the Goddess wants him to have sex.

Which.

He's not going to think about that.]

So it would all be sex. Does it specify what that sex is supposed to be like? It can't be just sex.

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